


the confession book

by conbi



Series: notes and journals [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: "light angst", A little gore, Alcohol, Anorexia, Anxiety, Anything Between Oikawa and Kageyama Is Platonic, Bipolar Disorder, Bruises, Burns, Child Neglect, Chronic Illnesses, Confessions, Dissociation, Drinking, Fighting, HELP KAGEYAMA AND HINATA, Hinata angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Refrenced Abuse, Kageyama angst, Mental Hospitals, Mentions of Suicide, More tags to be added, Multi, No one is dead yet, Panic Attacks, Paranoia, Pedophilia, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Smoking, Social Anxiety, Substance Abuse, Suicide, Swearing, Trauma, abusive relationships (n o t kagehina), basivally it's a bunch of small diary entries, for now, heres the angsty tags, hhhddfg im sorry to all my fav characters a but i must Self Project, i will change tags when they do, kagehina is central ship and characters, kags gets a pet, like a text fic?, lying, major character death later in story, part textfic, physical fights, pls be aware and n will have warnings at every chapter, rood people, secrets mhmmm, they're pining idiots in the fucked up dads club lmao, verbal and physical abuse, yoo angst is going down
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2018-09-17 06:25:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 24,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9309416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conbi/pseuds/conbi
Summary: hinata and kageyama decide to write in a book to each other. anything written inside the book is not allowed to be acknowledged outside of the paper, unless both parties agree it is okay to talk about it face to face.a weird diary au kind of ??tw ** read tagsnothing will be in much detail thoi change tags as my story progresses!





	1. entries 1 — 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *chapter edited*

entry 1 — passed back and forth, during a study session at hinata’s house.

 **dear kageyama** ,  
this is a weird idea.

 _dear (boke) hinata,_  
wasn’t my idea.

 **dear bakageyama,**  
yeah, suga can be weird sometimes.

 _dear hinata,_  
so we write secrets in here or confessions right? but we can't talk about it outside this book.

 **dear kageyama** ,  
maybe if it’s life threatening, like suicide or you killed someone (although i wouldn't be surprised if you killed someone).

 _dear hinata,_  
maybe that someone would be you.

 **dear kageyama,**  
eek! kageyama, so mean!

 _dear hinata,_  
this is weird, passing the book back and forth and not talking.

 **dear kageyama,**  
hm, i agree.

* * *

 

entry 2 — left inside kageyama’s shoe locker

 **dear kageyama,**  
your combo is very obvious, considering you leave a sticky note sticking out of the door of your shoe locker. you should change it before you get robbed. anyways, suga said this is for secrets and stuff like you wrote before right? this isn't really any of those, but i have a weird question. what’s your favorite noises?


	2. entries 3 — 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no angst
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> yet
> 
> *chapter edited*

entry 3 — left inside hinata’s volleyball bag after afternoon practice

 _dear hinata,_  
you’re probably the one stealing my bio milk candies, aren't you.

that's a weird question dumbass. but to answer it (i guess i have to), i like the sounds in our gym, you know, the swoosh, bams, and gWAAHS. here's my question, are you stealing my candy?

* * *

 

entry 4 — lunch time, sitting outside the gym and passing the book, yamaguchi and tsukishima eating lunch with them.

 **dear bakageyama,**  
i did not eat your gross milk candy. who likes milk candy anyways?

 _dear dumbass,_  
ooh, it was definitely you. you aren't allowed to lie in this book.

 **dear bakageyama,**  
that wasn't a rule. technically, there are no rules except the one we made up and the ones suga made for us, right?

 _dear dumbass,_  
i think so, maybe we should establish rules? like a) no one can see the book besides us.

 **dear kageyama,**  
also we should always be asking a question or telling secrets etc, because otherwise his book might become boring.

 _dear hinata,_  
and no lies, if we’re doing that either. you don't have to say anything but if you do it can't be half false, it has to be all true.

 **dear kageyama,**  
good idea. take the book, so tsukishima won’t steal it from us, i see him eyeing the book curiously.

* * *

 

entry 5 — written while kageyama couldn't sleep that night, left in hinata’s basket of his bike.

 _dear hinata,_  
what’s your favorite colors? mine are blue and white. and no, not white because milk. snow is pretty, also white is the color of sea foam.


	3. entries 6 — 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *chapter edited*

entry 6 — dropped inside the volleyball bin of balls right before kageyama grabbed a ball. he looked irritated with the book hitting his hand.

**dear kageyama,**

orange and red, i’d say. orange because it’s the color of karasuno’s uniforms, and my sister’s hair. mine too, i suppose, and red because it’s just a pretty color in general.

* * *

 

entry 7 — handed to hinata after practice.

_dear hinata,_

you have a sister? she’s never at your house though, how come? what’s she like?

* * *

 

entry 8 — handed back a week later, set on top of kageyama’s shoes in his shoe locker again, along with a small bag of bio candies. the paper looks like it’s been erased too many times.

  **dear kageyama,**

yeah, her name is natsu. she’s seven years old, and she lives with my dad. my parents are divorced so when they had the custody battle she went to go live with my dad in tokyo. you should come along one weekend when i go see her!

p.s.

i might have stolen your bio candies they're actually pretty good 

* * *

 

entry 9 — set inside of hinata’s volleyball bag again, along with two bio candies.

_dear hinata,_

oh that could be fun, i do want to meet your sister. i know what it’s like to have one parent at home. do you have lots of chores? you know, since it’s just you and your mom?

p.s.

thank you for the candies, one is for you and the other is for natsu if you see her anytime soon, otherwise you can just eat it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw bio candies are a korean milk candy/taffy i love it sm


	4. entries 10 — 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *updated chapter*

entry 10 — written at the dinner table late at night, left in kageyama’s show locker again.

  **dear kageyama,**

thanks for the candy! i actually don't have a lot of chores, just laundry, dishes, and cleaning my room. our house is pretty small so it’s easy. do you have any siblings, kageyama?

* * *

 entry 11 — written on a trip to the doctor's office, left in hinata’s shoe locker.

_dear boke hinata,_

i figured out your combo. it really shouldn't be 10 - 10 - 10. i guessed your jersey number, and it unlocked. dumbass. not really, apparently i had a twin i killed in the womb or something, but that doesn't count, does it?

* * *

 

entry 12 — handed to kageyama at lunch 

**dear bakageyama,**

i guess that's fair, now we can leave the journal in each other's shoe lockers. gwaah, i knew it! you're a murdererererer! have you killed anyone besides your twin??

* * *

entry 13 — whacked hinata on the head with it before splitting ways while walking home.

_dear dumbass,_

      first of all, “murdererererer” is actually spelled murderer. second of all, no i’m not a killer, but if you keep asking maybe you’re on my to kill list. what do you do on weekends? 

* * *

 

entry 14 — written over the weekend, handed back to kageyama between classes. 

**kageyama,**

      writing ‘dear’ is getting too tiring, and it sounds weird, like a mom. “my dear kageyama, would you make the rice for dinner please?” also gwaah so scary, don't kill me! usually i practice volleyball or play with natsu, or go to my friend's houses. kenma visits me from time to time too. do you have any friends outside of the volleyball club?

* * *

 entry 15 — tossed to a distracted hinata, resulted in the book being smacked in his face (like a volleyball).

_hinata,_

now that i think of it, not really. it’s just the volleyball team.

* * *

entry 16 — whacked kageyama’s arm, resulted in kageyama trying to slam his hand on hinata’s head, but he got too absorbed in the fluffy orange mess.

**bAKAGEYAMA,**

YOURE SUPPOSED TO WRITE A QUESTION

where were you the other day? you missed afternoon practice.


	5. entry 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mhm sorry short chapter
> 
> *updated chapter*

entry 17 — passed back and forth during lunch.

_hinata,_

whoops.

 

**kageyama,**

anSWER THE FFFFUDGING QUESTION

 

_dumbass,_

oh, right.

 

**kageyama,**

i can see your smirk. i will whack that box of milk out of your hand.

 

_dumbass,_

it was just a doctor’s physical, don’t worry about it. and don't you dare, or i’ll dump the milk on your head.

 

**bakageyama,**

ruuude! don't forget, no lyiiiing~

 

_hinata,_

why would i be lying?? and you didn't ask a question you hypocrite

do you want to hang out this weekend?

 

**kageyama,**

gwaah, you’re going to lure me in an alleyway and kill me!!

that depends, where are we going?

 

_hinata,_

d u m b a S S

to a pet store, you seem like animals would be nice around you, so if i had you with me while i get a pet then maybe they’ll like me??

 

**kageyama,**

so like a good luck charm? ooh sure! pets are very cute, and your scary face would definitely scare them away!!

hey, you're looking at what i’m writing! no peeking! are we allowed to talk about the pet store out of the book?

 

_hinata,_

i wasn’t peeking.

sure, it’s fine with me, and my face is _n o t_ scary, dumbass.


	6. Cats and Lizards and Ice Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which i actually do some real writing and kags and hint go on their outing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's all fluff. enjoy while it lasts, it'll get worse.  
> much  
> m u c h  
> m u c h  
> m u c h  
> m u c h  
> worse.
> 
> enjoyyy
> 
> *updated chapter*

Hinata ran his hand through the back of his hair, a habit he had picked up when he had but it shorter. Kageyama should be here soon, shouldn't he? No, he wouldn’t stand him up, would he? _It’s not a date, idiot._ Hinata shook the thought, as something whapped him on his back, letting out a small _eep!_ as the shortie jumped back, putting up his fists, looking for whoever has slapped him on his back. It was Kageyama, who stood slightly grinning, his hands in his pockets.

“Rude!” Hinata stuck his tongue out, but put down his fists. Kageyama was wearing skinny jeans, his tennis shoes (which were really beat up, but it’s not like Hinata wasn’t wearing old shoes either.), a plain white t-shirt, and a black sweatshirt. _Cute,_ Hinata thought, feeling overdressed in his blue overalls and sunflower-patterned button up shirt.

“You look nice,” Kageyama said, waving his hand as he turned the way he came, to lead Hinata to the pet shop.

“Thanks, um, you too.” Hinata hoped his face wasn’t flushed. “Why are you getting a pet, anyways?” He asked, turning his head up to his setter, who pulled Hinata out of the way of some pedestrians.

“Watch where you’re going, dumbass.” Kageyama shook his head slightly, Hinata laughing a little. “I thought it would be nice to have a pet, a lot of people seem to enjoy it. I find myself having a lot of extra time after school anyways, even after I practice volleyball. There isn’t anyone at home usually, so it can get lonely.” He said, looking a bit flushed as well. _Gah, he’s so cute._ “I hope you can help me find a pet that’ll like me, or I’d have brought you along for nothing, dumbass.” Hinata laughs. “I can’t assure you anything, animals seem to hate you.” Kageyama looked at him with scowl, giving him another _whap!_ on the back. Hinata laughed, ad Kageyama held the pet store door open for both of them.

Inside the store was small, no bigger than the club room (or what they could see, the back rooms could be bigger). There were kennels, with dogs and cats, cages of reptiles and rodents, and perches for (exceptionally well trained) birds. Hinata looked around, it seemed to be a rescue shelter, one of the parrots were missing a leg, one of the cats didn’t have a tail, one dog’s eyes were milky white. They stepped out of the doorway, as Kageyama turned to his spiker.

“Okay, you help me.” Hinata thought, looking around the shelter. “Do you have any allergies?” Kageyama shook his head. “And you want it to be able to follow you?” Kageyama shrugged. “Let's look at the lizards!” Hinata grinned, Kageyama raising an eyebrow yet following Hinata nonetheless.

There were several brightly colored lizards, a leopard gecko that ate its own shedded skin (“Eww, not that one.” Hinata squealed, Kageyama laughing at the squeamish boy.) “Hey, Kenma said he used to have a Bearded Dragon, and it would hang on his shirt.” Kageyama bent down to look in the cage at the sleeping lizard, Hinata doing the same. The lizard’s cage had a warm light, the few crickets left in the cage chirping quietly. The dragon opened one of it’s eyes, looking at Kageyama.

“I like it, I want to adopt it.” Kageyama declared, straightening up. Hinata laughed. “Let’s go see some other animals first, like the cats!” Kageyama looked back at the lizard before nodding. “Okay, but I’m still getting that Bearded Dragon.” He gave a sad look as they made their way across the store to the cats, Hinata snickering slightly, as his friend looked like he had just got scammed of his money and milk from a vending machine.

The cats weren’t so friendly, (“Stop putting your finger in the cages, that’s why they’re scratching you!” Hinata laughed, earning a “Shut up,” and a whap on the back for the third time today.) most of them were sleeping (“Cats are basically nocturnal, don’t you know anything about pets?” “Clearly no, that’s why I brought you along.”), or licking themselves.

“This one’s pretty,” Hinata said, pointing to the snow white coated British Shorthaired cat. The cat turned it’s head to Hinata’s voice. Kageyama agreed with the redhead, the cat was beautiful. It had one clear blue eye, the other a milky white (Kageyama concluded it was half blind), black fur around its eyes that looked like eyeliner.

“I’m getting this cat.” Kageyama said, as Hinata laughed. “What about the lizard?” Kageyama turned seriously to Hinata, looking him straight in the eye. “I’m getting them both.”

* * *

 

Hinata laughed, as he held the cage with the lizard, Kageyama holding the kennel with the cat. “I can’t believe you got _two_ pets.” Kageyama rolled his eyes. “Shut up, it’s not like my parents are strict about pets. They wanted to get me a dog but animals always hated me.” “Really? Did you not even want to try having a pet?” Kageyama shook his head. “Too absorbed with volleyball.” Hinata nodded. He couldn’t have any pets, Natsu was allergic to cats and dogs, his mother really didn’t like rodents or reptiles, his father deemed bird’s calls loud and annoying.

“Hey, thank you for coming along today.” Kageyama said, turning to Hinata, who beamed back. “No problem, it was really fun, we should really hang out some more.” Kageyama nodded. “Want to go get ice cream before you go back home?” Hinata turned up to the raven haired boy. “I didn’t bring any money, except for the bus.” “I was going to treat you dumbass, so let's go.” Hinata looked up, in awe, as Kageyama was… smiling? “Gwaaah, awesome! Thank you Yamayama!” Kageyama looked away (blushing??), muttering a “C’mon dumbass,” As they made their way to the ice cream parlor, two new friends in their arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story has done nothing to earn the angst tags
> 
> i might take them down and keep this story fluffy? not write depressing shit for once?? nah lol


	7. entries 18 — 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which they make some more plans and hinata is worried and gives kags candy

entry 18 — hinata handed the book back to kageyama before he left on the bus to go home. the post script looks scribbled in a hurry.

_kageyama,_

we're best friends right?

p.s.

thanks for taking me to get ice cream! what did you decide to name your pets? we never did decide, did we? 

* * *

 

entry 19 — handed back to hinata in the morning on monday.

_hinata,_

yeah, best friends. unless you have a different best friend? but i guess you can have more than one best friend too.

I decided to name my bearded dragon yogurt, and my cat mizu. oh yeah, when can i meet your sister?

* * *

 entry 20 — left in kageyama’s shoe locker with an apple jelly candy.

**kageyama,**

seriously?? yogurt?? like as in dairy?? thank god you didn’t name him milk or something. next weekend I’m going to go visit her and my dad, so you can probably come along. it’s a long train ride though, and i still have to ask. i also heard you aren't coming to afternoon practice, how come? i wanted to practice our quick !!!!

 

entry 21 — passed back and forth during lunch.

_hinata,_

thanks for the candy, where do you even go so much of it? also it’s just another doctor's appointment.

 

**kageyama,**

      my mom brings home handfuls of candy when she gets back from work, but Natsu likes to eat them all, so I figured I’d share. more doctors appointments? you had one last week right? I know it’s not really my place to ask but how come?

 

_hinata,_

      my mom is just overprotective, she thinks i’ve gotten myself sick or something. don’t worry about it dumbass, even if it was something bad, I’d be the one worrying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have 2 ideas for new fics but i have 3 other fics I should really update...  
> hmu if you wanna co write something idk i definitely can't write another fic alone lol
> 
>  
> 
> *chapter updated*


	8. entries 22 — 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which they make more plans and they talk about their fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow double update
> 
> *updated chapter*

entry 22 — put in kageyama’s locker.

**kageyama,**

hey, you’re my best friend, so if you were sick, I could be worried. I hope it storms this week, rumor is that school will be canceled. if it is, you want to sleepover? my mom’s away for the week visiting my grandma.

* * *

 

entry 23 — handed to hinata the next day

_hinata,_

sure, my mom usually works late anyways. I asked, she said it’d be fine.

* * *

 

entry 23 — passed to kageyama during lunch.

**kageyama,**

      you broke the rule again. I’ll ask a question, do you have any fears? 

* * *

entry 24 — put in hinata’s volleyball bag after practice

_hinata,_

      whatever dumbass. I guess i have a fear of blood. ya know, usually means you're hurt. also guns because stories in the news? yea. at least we don't live in america haha

* * *

 

entry 25 — passed to kageyama before they parted ways as they walked home together.

**bakageyama,**

      haha, needles are gross. I had to get stitches when I first started volleyball because I climbed a tree to get the ball that had gotten stuck up there, and I cut my arm on a rock when I fell out of the tree. They had to put the numbing stuff or whatever it’s called, and it was more painful than the stitches, but then again, it could be because they numbed my arm. Also, what will you do about your pets when you come over? 

* * *

 

entry 26 — given to hinata the next morning, kageyama beat him to the gym.

_dumbass,_

      oh yeah. I could ask my mom if you could come over instead. Now that I think of it, you haven’t met my mom yet, right? 

* * *

 

entry 27 — passed to kageyama during lunch.

**kageyama,**

      yeah, you haven’t met my mom either. if school doesn't get out then we can sleepover on the weekend and then come with me to see natsu?

* * *

entry 28 — left in hinata’s shoe locker.

_hinata,_

      okay, I asked my mom and she said you could come over.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should I start writing text chapters? I think every few chapters of entries i'll write and event  
> like actually write wow
> 
>  
> 
> lowkey calls out america on gun policies and terrorism and hate crimes by white cishet 40 year old cashew men just saying


	9. The Papers, Thunder, And No Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is real writing and some angst ;o

The next day it did, in fact, rain. By the time the two teens arrived at Kageyama’s house, they were drenched.

“Go shower, you brought extra clothes right?” Kageyama asked, Hinata nodding and getting water everywhere. “Oi, watch it dumbass.” He muttered, pulling off his wet sweatshirt and shirt. “No, you can shower first.” Hinata said. “No, I gotta dry our clothes and clean up a little.” Kageyama came around the corner, dropping their wet clothes in a basket. Hinata was shirtless too, both of them were shivering. _Jesus, even though he’s short, he has hot abs._ Kageyama tore his gaze away, bluntly turning to hide his blush. “I can do it Yamayama, go shower!” Hinata pulled the basket away, pushing his friend forward a little. Kageyama flushed at their touch.

“Okay, okay, try not to burn the house while you’re drying the clothes.”

“How do you even burn a house down with a dryer?”

“Shut up dumbass.”

* * *

Hinata was waiting for Kageyama to get done. After several minutes of trying to figure out the dryer, he finally got it to work (without setting fire to the house - Hinata 1; Kageyama 0). He dropped his bags in Kageyama’s room (it was kind of obvious where his room was, the door had a sign that said: Kageyama’s Room!), much to his surprise it wasn’t barren or just full of volleyball stuff like he thought it would be. Shelves of stuffed bears, picture frames, a toy dinosaur (the missing one from tsukishima’s house during that sleepover last month? ohoho, blackmail material), and of course, volleyball and sports clothes piled in a corner.  

The house was quiet, except for the running water, and the occasional jingle of bells from Mizu romping around the house. _He said he was going to clean, wasn’t he?_ Hinata pushed all the papers scattered on the island in one big pile, going to the table to grab the few papers on the table.

Huh? Hinata frowned, knowing it wasn’t his place to snoop around, and he tried to look away from the papers, but he couldn’t help it. No one was around, were they? Hinata glanced up and made sure Kageyama was in the bathroom still, before looking at the cat uneasily. He felt like the cat’s eyes and Kageyama’s eyes were connected, then he remembered the cat was half blind, as it scampered out of the room, hitting a wall as it rounded the corner.

He looked back down at the papers, stopping in the middle of the kitchen to read them. Were they medical bills? They looked kind of pricey. Hinata scanned the top, seeing that _Kageyama Tobio_ was printed, along with the date. Wasn’t that day the day he went to the doctors? Why would a doctor’s appointment be so expensive?

A clap of thunder shook the house, Hinata yelping and shoving the papers into the pile, as the lights flickered out. He heard a yell from the bathroom, then the door bursted open. Hinata grinned, Kageyama frowning.

“The lights went out.” Half of his hair was slick and wet from his shower, the other half hilariously poofy.

“Were you drying your hair?” Kageyama nodded, coming out of the bathroom.

“I don’t think you can shower in the dark, you might slip.” Kageyama said, rummaging around the front door where he left his school bag. “Yeah, it’s fine. I can just go get changed into my other clothes.” Kageyama nodded and proceeded to pull out his phone, using the light to look around the kitchen, pulling out some candles and two flashlights from a drawer, a camping lantern from a cabinet under the island. He tossed a flashlight to Hinata, who flicked it on, Kageyama turning on the lantern and setting it on the island. With the clouds and rain and how late it was, it was already dark, so the light from the lantern made a big difference.

“Alright, go get changed, I’ll get dinner started.” Hinata skipped off to go get changed.

* * *

Kageyama shuffled the papers on the island, seeing the medical bill. He placed it in the middle of the papers before putting the papers on a desk in the living room. Hoping Hinata didn’t see any of the papers, he turned on the stove to start making dinner.


	10. The Pills, Thunder, and No Lights (Again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the sleepover continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow real writing again  
> here's my birthday gift to you, thank you for reading my stories and leaving kudos! I actually had this chapter ready yesterday but between solos and cleaning my whole house i had no time to upload hahaha
> 
> enjoyyy

Hinata came back down with fresh clothes on, his orange hair that was plastered on his head was drying, the curls becoming frizzy and unruly messy, casing Kageyama to crack a grin.

“What?” Hinata frowned, sitting at a stool on the island, Kageyama shaking his head and turning back to the stove.

“Your hair looks ridiculous.” The pan sizzled as Kageyama put the vegetables in. Tobio assumed Hinata was rolling his eyes in the small moment of silence.

“It’s because I don't have a hairdryer, Bakageyama.” Kageyama turned around in time to see Hinata stick out his tounge.

“You actually style your hair? Man, I thought it was just always messy,” Kageyama snickered, egging Hinata on.

“Want to fight?” He hissed, jumping up. “Unlike you, my hair has volume, yours is just… There.” Kageyama laughed, turning again to mess up Shouyou’s already terribly messy and tangled hair.

"Ooh, can I do your hair?" Hint grinned.

“Fine, after dinner you can style my hair, just don't cut it.” Hinata hummed in response to Kageyama’s idea, standing up.

“Okay! You’ll look great, I style Natsu’s hair all the time.” Hinata looked around the dark kitchen, the only lights coming from the lantern and stove. “Where are your plates and cups?”

“Plates are in the cabinet above the microwave, cups are above the toaster, chopsticks are under the counter left to the fridge.” Kageyama heard shuffling, assuming Hinata was helping set the table.

“Let's eat,” Kageyama set the plates down on the island, sliding onto a stool to the left of Hinata. They both are in silence, scarfing down the delicious food.

“How can you cook so well?” Hinata asked, pausing before shoving another piece of beef in his mouth.

“Well, my mom’s usually really busy, so when she comes home from trips I like to make her dinner, and I have to make dinner for myself anyway, so at least I thought I could enjoy my cooking.” Kageyama explained, the two lapsing into silence again until they were finished with their meals.

“Thanks for dinner, Yamayama!” Hinata said, setting the dishes in the sink, Kageyama doing so as well.

“No problem, let's go do my hair, dumbass.” Kageyama grabbed the lantern and they went into the hallway, when the lights flickered on.

“Hooray, the lights are back!” Hinata jumped up, nearly hitting his head on the ceiling.

“Watch it, dumbass.” Kageyama said, pushing the short boy to the room. Kageyama settled on the floor next to his bed, waiting for Hinata to come back from the bathroom with a brush and such.

oOo

Hinata popped into the bathroom to look for hair ties and combs, pulling open drawers. While searching, he hummed to himself and found some small black hair ties, a brush and comb. And something else, strangely enough.

_A pill bottle._

Hinata shrugged it off. He himself took pills for allergies, it was nothing. _The medical papers,_ his mind nagged, before waving the thought away and skipping back to Kageyama’s room, jumping on his bed to style his friend’s hair.

“Okay, I think I’ll slick it back!” Hinata grinned, taking the comb and making the part, Kageyama grumbling over something.

oOo

“Gwaah, you look so cute, Yamayama!” Kageyama felt himself blush, standing.

“Okay dumbass, can I go see it now?” Hinata nodded, jumping up with Kageyama to go to the bathroom and see his new hair.

“See, you’re very handsome, you should put your hair back like this more often!” Hinata leaned on the counter, as Kageyama admired his hair.

“Yeah, maybe.” His raven hair was slicked back, a few strands falling over his face, and Kageyama agreed with Hinata, it was kind of cute.

“It makes you look more approachable.” Hinata said, looking into the mirror and brushing his frizzy hair, gathering it into a messy ponytail.

“Whatever. You should cut your hair.” Kageyama took Hinata’s hair into his hands, shooing away the older boy’s protests, as he began to pull it into a short ponytail. _Thump._ God, Hinata looked adorable. The raven haired setter prayed a blush wouldn’t settle on his cheeks, but much to his dismay they did.

“Actually, don’t cut it.” He blurted, earning a funny look from Hinata.

“Okay, Yamayama. What do you go want to do?” They had gone back into the room and flopped on the bed. There was a crash of thunder outside.

“Okay, I guess volleyball is out of the list.” They both looked outside to see the trees being whipped around in the wind, heavy rain flooding the gutters.

“Yeah.” The two boys sat on the bed, until another strike of lightning illuminating the room, before the lights flickered out again. Hinata yelped and jumped, Kageyama looking around for the lantern.

“Let’s go to sleep, we’re going to see Natsu tomorrow so we might as well not be tired.” Hinata said, Kageyama nodding to go get the futon.

They set it up, both now in their beds.   
“Goodnight Kageyama,” Hinata said, rolling over in his covers.

“Night, Hinata.” The taller one drifted into a heavy sleep, leaving the shorter one awake under his covers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I add texting in this as well?  
> there'll be more entries towards the end, don't worry  
> but give me ur valued opinions


	11. Clean Words, Swimming, and Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which four dorks get themselves in trouble with the cops  
> and they go swimming   
> and kenma tries to keep hint's pure innocence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooo wow i managed to write smthing ;o

The next day, they quickly packed up after taking showers, Hinata’s mom picking the two up and agreeing to take Kageyama’s pets to Noya’s house, who had agreed to pet sit them while Kageyama and HInata went to Tokyo.

“Bye! Be safe! Don’t go out after dark!” Hinata’s mom said, as Shouyou waved a blew a kiss, before being pushed back down Kageyama, who closed the window before the ticketmaster of the train could lecture them.

The train ride was filled with Hinata’s excited chatter, Kageyama couldn’t help to smile at his friend’s excitement. 

“So, will we be doing anything when we get there?” Hinata paused his story and thought. 

“Well, we’ll probably eat together, my dad doesn’t get out of work till later. He’ll pick up Natsu from school then get us in the town center.”

“So we have the day to spend in Tokyo, right?” Kageyama clarified, HInata nodding. 

“Yep! Let’s get meat buns! Oooh, wonder if Kenma will be around…” Hinata muttered, trailing off in thought. “Whoops, no it’s just us on this trip.”

Kageyama smiled. “No, we can see Kenma if you want, we could practice some.” Hinata perked up. 

“Thanks Yamayama!”

“Shut up, dumbass.”   
oOo

After eating spicy ramen at a small korean restaurant (really spicy, Kageyama’s face turned the color of Hinata’s hair), they milled around and window shopped, Hinata dragging his setter away from the pet shop (“You can  _ not _ have anymore pets Bakageyama!”). Hinata looked down at his phone.

 

**ACCT HOLDER: Shouyouuuu (me)**

**Sent 11:04**

hey kenken are u avaliable today? me and kageyama are in tokyo and we were wondering if you’d like to hang out or smthing

 

**ACCT HOLDER: Kenma ㅇㅅㅇ**

**Viewed 12:36**

**Sent 12:36**

sure shouyou where do you wanna meet up?

 

**ACCT HOLDER: Shouyouuuu (me)**

**Viewed 12:42**

**Sent 12:45**

um we’re by the train station ??? i don’t know what it’s called

 

**ACCT HOLDER: Kenma ㅇㅅㅇ**

**Viewed 12:47**

**Sent 12:50**

shouyou there’s so many stations in the city so just tell me some landmarks you see

**Sent 12:50**

oh also kuroo is coming sor

**Sent 12:51**

yOOOO CHIBIICHAAAN

 

**ACCT HOLDER: Shouyouuuu (me)**

**Viewed 12:51**

**Sent 12:52**

???? kenma is that kuroo

 

**ACCT HOLDER: Kenma ㅇㅅㅇ**

**Viewed 12:52**

**Sent 12:52**

YeeS IT”S MEE CHIBIICHAN FUUU

 

**ACCT HOLDER: Shouyouuuu (me)**

**Viewed 12:53**

**Sent 12:53**

hi kuroo and it’s fine he can come

 

**ACCT HOLDER: Kenma ㅇㅅㅇ**

**Viewed 12:53**

**Sent 12:57**

sorry shou i had to lecture him he cannot ruin this small crow’s innocence with dirty words

**Sent 12:57**

anyways where are you?

 

**ACCT HOLDER: Shouyouuuu (me)**

**Viewed 13:01**

**Sent 13:03**

umm there’s a ramen shop nearby and we seem to be in some sort of mall or something

**Sent 13:04**

kageyama says there’s a fountain but i can’t see it im too short and he wont let me get on his back ‘n’ he’s mean

 

**ACCT HOLDER: Kenma ㅇㅅㅇ**

**Viewed 13:07**

**Sent 13:13**

we’ll be right there kuroo knows where you are and we’re driving there right now, ill see you soon shou

 

Hinata stuck his tongue out at Kageyama. 

“It’s rude to read people’s texts.” The raven haired teen scowled in return.

“It’s rude to talk behind people’s back.” Tobio rebutted, Hinata laughing. 

“Whatever, Bakageyama.” Hinata said, jumping up in attempt to see the fountain. “I wanna see the fountaiiiin let me get on your baccckkk!” The redhead whined, looking at Kageyama.

“It’s just a fountain, dumbass. Go run up to it if you wanna see it so badly.” Hinata took off, leaving Kageyama to weave through the crowd. “Wait up dumbass!”

Hinata yelped as he tripped over the edge of the fountain. It was large enough to be a small pond, and the water shooting up was off center, causing the illusion that the fountain was further away than it actually was, and it didn’t help that Shouyou’s perspective from the milling crowd didn’t let him see that.

Kageyama grabbed Hinata’s arm before he could fall into the fountain, their faces close, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. 

Hinata’s foot slipped under the wet cement, pulling both of them into the fountain. The crowd screeched and fled from the splash of water that came from the boys, a small circle formed around them, two familiar faces in the front, tears leaking down their face in laughter.

“Dumbass, this is your fault!” 

“If you hadn't caught me Bakageyama, you wouldn’t have fell in so blame yourself!” The two traded insults until the two snickering teens held a phone in their faces.

“Kenma? Did you take a picture of us?” Hinata asked, feigned with outrage and betrayal.

“Mhmm, a video too.” The pudding head smirked and swiped to the video, playing it. The blonde had even managed to get the part where they were close, before falling. 

“Delete it!” Kageyama lunged for the phone, Kenma pulling it back and hissing, nearly dropping the phone into the fountain. The four screeched, Kuroo, who was next to Kenma lunged for it, bumping into Kenma, who tripped and fell into the fountain with Kageyama and Hinata, who caught the red phone, but slipped also and fell in, the four screeching and curing at each other. 

“God Kuroo, you pushed me in!” 

“Did not!”

“Gettoffaameee” Hinata said, pushing Kuroo off of everyone, then Kenma, everyone standing in the fountain, completely soaked. 

“Uh, we have other problems.” Kageyama said, jerking his head to a mall cop (so Hinata was right, it was an outdoor mall). 

“We’re in deep shit.” Kenma elbowed Kuroo, who muttered a sorry, grinning.

“It’s true though. Ouch, Kenma, stop elbowing m- Owww.”  The four turned to the cop as they approached the soaking teens.

“You four are causing disruption in the mall, the fountain is not a pool, we’ll wait in the office while your guardians come pick you up.” The four trudged out of the water and followed the grumpy cop, streaking water after them like a snail leaving it’s slimy trail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i decided to add the text in ;OOOOOO


	12. entries 29 — 30 & Smoke, Life, and Midnight Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which stuff goes down ;>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a super long fluff and angst chapter!  
> tw for mentions of abuse, hints at neglect um gay stuff alcohol and smoking  
> jeez im gonna have to fix the tags  
> a g a i n

Hinata and Kageyama rode in the car in silence. They had stayed in the mall office until Hinata’s father could pick them both up, they were unable to spend the rest of the afternoon with Kenma and Kuroo, besides being stuck in the office. The atmosphere in the car was tense and they were thankfully dry, but they weren’t when they had gotten inside the car. Along Hinata’s dad and Natsu in the car, there was a woman in the front seat, a straight silky haired redhead, with too much makeup that her actual facial features barely recognisable. Hinata seemed to be glaring at her, even though they had only been in the car for about two minutes, and thirteen more to go. 

“Look kid,” the woman said, her accent bizarre, something like american perhaps, but unlike any american accent Tobio had heard.

“Yous got yourself in trouble, yous be lucky we could bail yous out.” Kageyama inwardly cringed at her terrible japanese. 

“It wasn’t even real jail, all you had to do was sign papers, and only one of them.” Hinata huffed, looking out the window. 

“Hey, listen to your mom.” Hinata’s dad interrupted. 

“Step-mom, she’s not my mom.” Hinata said sourly. Kageyama felt awkward, he wished he could melt into the seats. 

“Excuse me, be glad I saved your sorry ass from the streets.” The streets? Kageyama confusedly tried to ignore the conversation that was surely sparking into an argument.

“You did  _ not _ save me, my real mother did.” Hinata gritted his teeth, visibly annoyed. 

“Your real mother did nothin’, that b-” Hinata let out a huffed breath, seething now. There was a sniffle from the back of the car, Tobio turning slightly, Natsu nearly in tears. 

“Do. Not. Talk. About. My. Mother. Like. That.” Hinata looked about ready to lunge at his step-mom. 

“I’ll talk about her however I want, and you shouldn’t live with her anyways, yous unlucky she won the custody battle.” Hinata wrinkled his nose as the woman dug around her purse. Kageyama sensed that this woman had been in Hinata’s life for a while. 

“She should have won over Natsu too, it’s not like you were fighting for her anyways, dad was and- are you really going to smoke in here? In a car?” Hinata said, Natsu promptly bursting into tears behind him. Kageyama unbuckles and slid to the backseat, in attempt to help calm her. Tobio was never good with children or pets, but he had befriended not one, but two animals, so maybe he could befriend the smaller Hinata.

“Shouyou, it’s time to stop.” HInata’s dad broke in again, still driving on. Kageyama awkwardly patted the little girl’s red fluffy hair, who surprisingly pulled his shirt closer and cried, to which he rubbed her back as his mother would do when he was upset. 

Hinata huffed and folder his arms, not responding, as they thankfully arrived at the apartment, parking in the garage.

Natsu’s sobs diminished to sniffled, and she held Kageyama’s hand. 

“You’re Kageyama right? Onii talks about you a lot.” She said, Tobio nodding.

“Onii doesn’t like his step-momma, he likes real momma better. Sometimes I do too,” she said, as the bitter family stepped in the elevator, the smoking woman twitched at the little girl’s conversation, but didn’t say anything. 

“The sticks she puts in her mouth smell gross and they make me and Onii cough.” Doors open, everyone steps out, doors closed. Hinata’s dad unlocked the door, kicked off his shoes and sat on the couch. It was a small apartment. Hinata’s step-mom sat next to his father, Natsu tugging on Kageyama’s sleeve. He bent over and kissed him on the cheek and ran off, presumably to her room, while Hinata dragged Kageyama’s bags and Kageyama to his room.

“Sorry about all that,” Hinata said quietly, dropping the bags and picking up an old volleyball. 

“Oi, don’t be sorry about that. It’s not your fault.” Kageyama said, jumping as Hinata served the ball into the wall, creating a loud smack and a  “Shut it!” from his dad.

“Nah, I should have just let her talk.” Hinata shrugged and nudged the volleyball into his closet.

“Anyway-”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kageyama asked. He figured that whenever he was irritated his mom would ask to talk about it, it usually made him feel better. That’s what friends do anyways, right? Comfort each other if needed. 

Hinata frowned. “Huh?”

“Um, I said do you want to talk about it? Dumbass.” He said, heat rising to his cheeks. Was it weird that he asked Hinata? The redhead laughed a little. 

“I didn’t know you could be so nice, Kageyamaaa.” Kageyama looked away, fighting the second round of blushes and hot ears. Hinata laughed again, more genuine.

“No, I’m fine, but we came here to see Natsu right? She seemed to really like you.” Kageyama smiled at the thought of the younger Hinata.

“Yeah, she’s cute, like the sibling I never had.”

“Yeah, you said you murdered your twin in the womb. Murderererer.” Hinata tacked on the extra er’s for exaggeration, much like the book. 

Kageyama jumped down to sit on the bed. “Yep, and I’ll murder you too dumbass Hinata.” His arms shot out, pinching inside Hinata’s upper arm, who squealed with laughter. 

“No fair!” He gasped between breaths, trying to tickle Kageyama back, who smirked and claimed he wasn’t ticklish. Hinata was screeching for breath and managed to hit a pillow over Kageyama’s head, and screamed ‘fatality!’, Kageyama falling back in pretend death. 

“Yamayama, you’re so mean. I take back about you being nice.” Hinata stuck his tongue out and rolled his eyes.

“If you make faces like that and someone slaps your back, your face will be stuck like that.” Kageyama said, ready to slap Hinata’s back, who yelped and fell off the bed, hurtling a fallen pillow at his friend’s face again. They both promptly collapsed and fell back, Hinata onto the floor and Kageyama on the bed. 

“Shut the f- hell up, will you?” The grouchy redheaded hag said, pushing open Hinata’s door.

“We we’re just having fun, we stopped screaming anyways.” Hinata said, Kageyama immediately uncomfortable with the fact that Hinata’s step-mom was picking on him. 

“Stop talking back you son of a-” She paused, her eyes flickering to Kageyama as if to realize he was even here. 

“Your dad and I are going out, we’ll be back later. Watch your sister, don’t let her eat everything.” She loudly closed the door, the slam of the front door soon after.

“If she was leaving she didn’t have to tell us to shut up.” Hinata muttered under his breath. Kageyama was about to say something when Hinata interrupted. 

“I gotta take care of Natsu, so let’s go do something out in the living room.” Hinata stood and held his hand out to Kageyama, who accepted it and jumped to his feet.

Hinata called a short “Natsu let’s play in the living room!” before the even shorter redhead ran to the living room, jumped and latched onto Kageyama. 

Shouyou began clearing the coffee table, free of beer bottles and wine glasses, the messy ash tray, lighter and packs of cigarettes.  _ How did Natsu even get custody to live here?  _ Kageyama wondered, as Hinata opened the deck door to air out the stuffy, smoky room. 

“Okay, what should we do?” The three were sitting around the coffee table, looking at the monstrous pile of puzzles and boardgames that loomed over them. 

“Let’s play Life!” Natsu cried, to which Hinata groaned, putting all the boxed but Life on the floor.

“We play it every time,” Hinata explains, setting it up. Kageyama laughs, remembering the phase where he’d make his mom play Memory every time they had free time. 

Once the board was set up they began to play. Natsu chose college because “Onii says he’s going to go to college and I can live with him, and college is good if you want a job!” and Shouyou chose college because “Natsu will make me anyways”, Kageyama himself choosing career for the sole reason for getting ahead,even if it was a few spaces. He got a sucky payday card, but he got the athlete career card (“No faiiiirrr” Hinata pouted). 

“I’m gettiiinnnggg maaarrriiiiieeeedddd” Natsu sang, putting another pink person in her car. “Our wedding dresses are going to be so pretty.” Kageyama sent a puzzled look at Hinata, who laughed. 

“I’m so sad, I’ll have to walk you down the aisle.” Natsu grinned and

they continued the game. Hinata came across the marriage spot again, sticking his hand into the little tray of pink and blue people, pulling a random one out and sticking it on his car, a blue one next to a blue one. Hinata visibly flushed, clearly something that he intended? Kageyama cleared his head and continued the game, before coming across the marriage spot like everyone else. Should he draw randomly like Shouyou? Or should he pick a pink one? He wasn't fond of girls, but he never did date anyone. He decided to draw randomly and drew a blue one, shrugging away his faint blush and sticking it in his car, Hinata raising an eyebrow.

They continued on the game, Hinata eventually winning and throwing the money over Natsu and Kageyama, the short girl laughing and jumping in the money. It took a long time to clean up. After they finished Hinata looked for some dinner, finding some canned clam chowder. 

“Yuck, I don’t like clams.” Natsu said, pouting over her bowl. Hinata sighed. 

“You gotta remind dad to get more food. If he doesn't, call me and I’ll bring you some groceries. You’ll have to eat it Natsu, because that’s all there is to eat.” The three began to eat their food, before Natsu picked up a piece she thought was clam (it was actually potato), flicking it onto Hinata’s face, who scowled.

“Natsu, don't play with your food.” Kageyama reached over and wiped the food off of Shouyou’s face, noticing his cheeks were soft.  _ Like mean buns _ . Ah, he shouldn’t be thinking that. He likes girls… Right, as he finished his soup he was thinking. There was never anyone he liked, volleyball was more important, but here he was having fun with Shouyou? But they were just friends, all feeling between them? Oh, solely platonic. And the slight chance Kageyama  _ was _ gay (not that he was or anything pfft), and had a crush on Hinata, what were the chances that Hinata would be gay too? Very slim. 

“Alright, go get ready for bed now.” Natsu ran off, escaping the wrath of the clam chowder. 

“You've been quiet Kageyama, deep in thought?” Hinata asked, putting away his dishes in the dishwasher. 

“Yep, just thinking about what we could do tomorrow.”  _ Nice save. _

“I was thinking we could take Natsu to a planetarium maybe? Kenma and Kuroo could come if they want to, we didn't see them enough today.” Kageyama nodded, handing Hinata his empty dish.

“Sounds fun, want me to text Kenma for you?” Hinata nodded gesturing with his elbow to the counter where his phone lie.

 

**ACCT HOLDER: Shouyouuuu (me)**

**Viewed 21:43**

**Sent 21:43**

Hi, it’s Kageyama, Hinata was wondering if you and Kuroo wanted to go to a planetarium tomorrow with me and his sister? Hinata’s doing dishes so he can't text you so he asked me.

 

**ACCT HOLDER: Kenma ㅇㅅㅇ**

**Viewed 21:44**

**Sent 21:45**

um sure i'll text kuroo and ask him but i can definitely come for sure just give me the showtimes and i'll meet u guys there

 

**ACCT HOLDER: Shouyouuuu (me)**

**Viewed 21:45**

**Sent 22:45**

shouyou says before night because they serve snacks in the evening and then we can go outside and actually look at stars or something before we take the train back to miyagi so 4-6 okay?

 

**ACCT HOLDER: Kenma ㅇㅅㅇ**

**Viewed 21:57**

**Sent 21:58**

yeah sure thanks kageyama, kuroo says he’ll be there

 

“So that’s settled.” Natsu game out of her room to kiss the two teens on their cheeks before going to go to bed.

“Yeah, in the morning we can take Natsu to get breakfast and shopping or something.” Hinata said, drying his hands. There were heavy steps in the hallway.

“Fuck, they’re back earlier.” Hinata ran to Natsu’s room and said something, the light flicked off. The use of Hinata’s swearing shocked him, as he allowed himself to be dragged to his room. 

“Natsu’s going to be sleeping, so are we.” Shouyou tugged off his shirt and climbed into his bed, waving his hand for Kageyama to do the same.

“Take off your shirt or something, you can't wear your regular shirt to sleep.” Kageyama frowned and did as told, trying not to focus on their arms touching. Hinata moved askew, looking like he was sleeping, kicking Kageyama’s shin so he could do the same. Just as they adjusted to their fake sleep, the door slammed open.

There was a creak and a bunch of things fell over.  _ We left out the board games on the floor stacked, that's probably what fell.  _ Kageyama shifted uncomfortably before the door burst open, flinching, but Hinata unwavering. 

“Get up and clean up this mess,” it was the red headed step-mom, pulling on Hinata’s ankle. 

“I know you’re awake, get up you little shit.” Shouyou sat up next to him, yawning and pretending to be groggy from sleeping. 

“Go clean up those boxes, learn to take care of your mess.”  _ Ironic, says the lady who left her ashtray and lighters everywhere, not to mention the wine glasses.  _ Kageyama wanted to get up to help Hinata, but fear paralyzed him so stay sleeping. There was faint talking in the living room, not quite yelling but not talking quietly, the walls were thicker than most apartments. Kageyama sat up, deciding to go see what the ruckus was, when Hinata stormed in, turning on the lights, muttering a sorry to Kageyama, before rummaging through his closet.

“Why’re you soaking?” His orange hair was plastered on his face and he smelled… Like beer.

“She’s drunk, can’t even keep her glass up right, she spilled the whole bottle of beer on me,” Hinata said sourly before grabbing a towel. 

“I’m going to go shower. Sorry you had to see me like this.” He flicked off the lights and disappeared again through the door that he came from. Kageyama frowned. Clearly this didn't what Hinata planned, he seemed more excited to go, yet he wouldn't be if normally this is how his visits were? Kageyama thought the whole ordeal was confusing. He rummaged around in his bag, pulling out a black composition book. He opened it up, grabbing a pencil lying nearby on Hinata’s bedside table.

_ entry 29 – written late at night in Hinata’s bed, set on the bedside table. _

_ hinata,  _

_ are you okay? like really? I'm worried for you. _

Kageyama paused, thinking of something else to write.

~~_ I hope _ ~~

Crossed out. Kageyama tried again.

~~_ are your _ ~~

Striked through, Kageyama frowns as the shower next door shuts off. He has a minute at least.

_ hinata,  _

_are you okay? like really? I’m worried for you. I know it’s not my place to pry, but I’m your_ _friend_ _best friend, and I_ ~~ _don't think_~~ _know this isn't how you wanted the trip to end up as. I may be an idiot when it comes to everything, but even I know if something's going on._

The bathroom door outside opened, Kageyama dropping the pencil under the floor and setting the book closed on the nightstand, rolling over to pretend to be sleeping.

oOo

Hinata pushed the door open, freshly dressed in actual pajamas. Kageyama appeared to be sleeping, so he went over to the bedside table and turned on the lamp, hoping not to wake his setter. There was the confession book next to it, a pencil on the floor.  _ Did Kageyama write in it before he went to sleep? _ Hinata picked up the pencil and book, twirling the pencil in one hand, reading the new entry in the other. Hinata knelt down to write in the book, putting it on the bedside table.

_ entry 30 – put inside kageyama’s bag, written next to tobio, who was sleeping. _

_ kageyama, _

_ thanks for the concern yamayama! but i know what you wanted to say, but don't worry. my dad and step-mom don't abuse me or natsu, so don't worry. i don't like my step-mom (it's kind of obvious) and i guess she moved in since the last time i visited? nobody told me. i usually don't see her when i visit so i wasn't worrying about her. my dad sort of acts up around her, like a little kid trying to impress their friend, maybe like tsukki and yams, except they're nicer. really though, thanks for the concern kageyama! _

Hinata thought it was a little cheesy, bus abiding by the rules, Kageyama couldn't talk about it in real life. He tucked it away in Kageyama’s bag, leaving the pencil on the table, climbing over Kageyama to sleep next to him in the bed. He soon dozed off, in a better mood, as his friend–no, best friend–was with him, so all would be well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol Life is actually my favorite game ever ! when my friend flew to visit me we stayed up till 2 am everyday playing life rip  
> and kageyama's favorite game of memory is inspired by a child i babysit bc they always make me play memory ;o  
> also THANKS FOR 1111 VIEWS lol i'm so glad you guys read and enjoy my stories it genuinely inspires me to write something and now i have something to do besides screw around the internet lol


	13. Group Chats, Spicy Ramen, and Tobiuos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which they shop and it's a filler chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rip filler chapters

The next day, Kageyama woke  up early, flushing once he realized he actually fell asleep, without a shirt on, in his totally heterosexual friend’s bed, with that heterosexual friend, as a heterosexual himself. Hinata wasn’t actually there, thankfully, so Kageyama quickly slipped on a shirt, and peeked outside Hinata’s bedroom door, which in the morning light seemed to also be a play room, a dollhouse shoved up against the wall. Hinata was in the kitchen, cooking what seemed to be eggs. 

“Morning,” He said stifling a yawn as he walked over and slid in a stool on the kitchen’s bar, where the three children had ate yesterday.

“Good morning Yamayama, sleep well?” He hummed, bustling around the kitchen with the task of making eggs, bacon, waffles, and toast. 

“Yeah, you?” Hinata hummed again.

“Yeah, I’m still a little tired since I got up to make breakfast.”  _ Lie. _

“Okay. What are we doing before we go to the planetarium?” Kageyama stood to go help his friend, who shooed him away.

“Well I was thinking we could take Natsu to go shopping or something, I know it sounds boring but she’s growing out of her clothes and you’d probably rather do something else but-” Hinata rambled, Kageyama cutting the redhead off. 

“No, it’s fine, we can do that. DIdn’t you say you wanted to go grocery shopping too?” HInata turned around confused. 

“Um yeah, but wouldn’t you rather do something fun? We’re going to do errands and I’m sure you aren’t looking forward to it…” Hinata said, before Kageyama grabbed his arm, pulling him to look at the setter.

“It’s a necessity, so I don’t mind. Anyway, if we go together it’ll be fun, because we’re friends. And we are doing fun stuff, it’s just later in the day. I don’t mind, dumbass.” Kageyama dropped Hinata’s arm as the waffle maker beeped.

“Oh, okay, I guess I was worried for nothing.” Hinata grinned, skipping back to flip the waffles. “Oh, so I talked to Kenma before I went to sleep, and he said after we do the shopping we could go to the aquarium. We’ll be there and then get dinner all five of us, then go to the planetarium. Sound good?” Kageyama nodded. When he was younger, the aquarium was a fun place to go, because the fish couldn't really… run away from him, like in Zoos. Kageyama took out his phone, remembering something. 

“Look,” He said, holding out his phone. It was the Yogurt, clinging to a smiling Kageyama. 

“He hung on my shirt the other day! I meant to send it to you, but I forgot.” Hinata’s cheeks turned pink.

“Aww so cuuttee, makes my heart go gwaaah!” Kageyama’s cheeks turned pink too.  _ He’s talking about the lizard, idiot.  _ Kageyama took the phone, and clicked camera. 

“One more thing, look,” Kageyama held his phone out again.

“It’s backwards idiot.”  _ Click _ . Kageyama snickered, pulling away and nearly falling out of the stool.

“Did you just take a picture of me? Bakageyama, give me your phone!” 

“Hinata boke, why would I do that? So you can delete it?” Hinata seemed conflicted whether to watch the cooking food or run after the criminal Kageyama.

“Was that a send notification?” Hinata narrowed his eyes. Kageyama snickered, loudly. 

“Yep, you can’t delete it now!” 

“Bakageyama!”

“Dumbass!” A dozen of chirping noises came after the sent noise, indicating that whoever Kageyama had sent it to, was replying back.

“Let me see!”

“No!” Kageyama laughed and looked down at his phone.

 

**pic sent - 9:26am**

 

_ Oikawa (alien king)> oomg tobio-channnn y r u with shrimpy?? _

_ Iwaizumi (arms)> oi oikawa you don’t just ask that _

 

_ so…  _

 

_ why are you with hinata _

 

_ Oikawa (alien king)> hypocrite ;< _

 

_ Makki> stfu guys stop teasing tobio’s bf _

 

_ Kageyama (me)> why the hell am i even in your guys group chat i don’t even go to seijoh  _

_ Mattsun> look loverboy didn’t even deny it _

 

_ Makki> shiiip _

 

_ Mattsun> shiiiip _

 

_ Kageyama (me)> go to hell all of u im not sharing anymore pics  _

_ Oikawa (alien king)> pls send more tobiiooo i need it i survive off of cuteness 1!!1!!1 _

 

Kageyama laughed, holding his phone out. “Oikawa says you’re cute.”

“Eehh? You text the great king? I thought you guys were like, arch nemesis .” Hinata laughed. “How come you’re in the Seijoh group chat though?”

“Beats me, Oikawa probably wanted to annoy me, it’s working.” Hinata snickered, before placing three plates on the island, and turning off the stove. 

“I’m gonna go get Natsu, so wait a sec.” Shouyu came out later, with a groggy Natsu, both of the Hinatas looking like they brawled around, which they probably did, considering it was hard enough waking Shouyou himself up at training camps. 

“Morninnggg Yamaaa,” Natsu said, pulling herself onto the stool and setting a stuffed orange cat (everything was orange in this family), aside, stabbing a waffle violently with her fork.

“Morning Natsu,” Kageyama ruffled her hair as his mother did when he was younger (anything he knew about children he observed from his mother), vaguely wondering what Hinata’s hair would feel like. Of course, he always grabbed his hair or rubbed his knuckles against Hinata's scalp, but never fluffed his friend’s hair. He’d have to try it sometime. The three ate, chattering about the day to come, Natsu waking up once she heard ‘shopping’, and drooped when it wasn’t for stuffed animals (and Shouyou said she had over 100, maybe it was an exaggeration?). They hurried outside and walked to the bus, before getting on and driving to the mall. 

“Where were was your dad this morning?” Kageyama said carefully, trying not to offend his friend.

“I think they left while we were sleeping, they’re probably both drunk in a bar still. Whatever, let them find their way home.” Hinata said, strangely cheerful despite the question. Kageyama guessed he didn’t want to ruin the mood. 

They shopped and ended up buying Natsu four sparkly dresses that she promised to wear (despite Hinata’s warning of “she’ll never wear them!”), one stuffed animal, an overall and some leggings, and a orange shirt, that reminded her of “Onii’s super-duper awesome volleyball team!”. They then stopped for lunch at the ramen shop they ate at yesterday, Natsu crying because she accidentally ordered the spicy one, Kageyama careful not to repeat the previous day’s mistake, while Hinata laughed at the two’s “low tolerance of spiciness” and tried the spicy one himself, resulting in now both the Hinata siblings crying over their bowl. 

“Alright, we can go explore! What do you guys want to go see?” Hinata asked, looking triumphant they had paid and gotten inside the aquarium. 

“Sharks are cool,” Kageyama suggested nonchalantly.

“I wanna see the tobiuo!” Natsu yelled, Hinata howling with laughter while Kageyama mocked horror.

“Nooooo…” Kageyama said, Hinata wiping fake laughter tears from his face. 

“Sorry Natsu, we’ll see the tobiuo later, Kageyama’s the visitor so we get to see the sharks first.” Natsu pouted but they went along.

They had seen the sharks and the tobiuos and the rays, and plenty more, Hinata sent a picture of a grumpy Tobio next to the tobiuos to Suga, who replied with ‘everyone is dead hinata, you killed them by sending that picture’. Hinata didn’t ask who was dying, as he might get added to a group chat, and oh the horror stories about group chats…. (Plus his phone wasn’t very compatible with a groupchat of 4+ people)

“Okay, Kenma and Kuroo should be here soon, let’s reserve a booth.” Hinata said, putting his phone away after reading the pudding head’s texts. So the three got a booth, waiting for Kenma and Kuroo to arrive and join them for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you group chats are cool  
> the grand kind just loves to annoy his favorite kouhai  
> the memeteam ships #Kagehina  
> did i actually use a #  
> this is the end of me


	14. SPACE, Cheek Kisses, and Accidental First Names - entry 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'M SORRY FOR PROCRASTINATING HERES A FILLER CHAPTER

“Kuroo, don’t get that, it’s too spicy.” Kenma said, not looking up from his game.

“But it’s only a little spicy! If you don’t want it, don’t share with me!” Kenma rolled his eyes.

“Fine, order it, but get fish and chips or something for me, I don’t want that spicy ass tofu.” Kuroo sighed. 

“Fine kitten.” Kenma looked up at the third year with murderous intent.

“Don’t call me that.” Hinata and Kageyama snickered, Kuroo face crying with feigned hurt, Natsu laughing along with her brother even though she had no idea what was going on.

The five had eaten (Kuroo slipping some spicy tofu onto Kenma’s plate, Kuroo ending up with a whole basket of fried being shoved down his throat), and it had gotten darker outside. They arrived at the planetarium via taxi, Natsu clinging onto Kenma like a koala and attempting to twist her head like an owl to watch the puddinghead play his video game. 

“Natsu latches onto people quickly. She’s like you,” Kageyama said, Hinata nodding.

“Well Natsu knows Kenma and Kuroo pretty well, because every weekend that I come here I take Natsu with me everywhere, and usually we hang out with them.” Hinata holds open the door, the teens and little child go inside the museum. 

“Kenma, you have to put your game down while we watch the show, it’s the same as a phone.” Kuroo chided, earning another evil glance from the blonde.

“I’ll put it away when they dim the lights, calm down.” Returning his gaze to the screen, Kuroo mimicked him in a childish voice, earning a playful punch to shoulder. 

“ **_SPACE_ ** ” The lights dimmed and the booming noise of the title crackled through the speakers. Kenma’s DS closed, everyone turning to the screen. It seemed as if they actually were outside. Natsu buried her face in Hinata’s sleeve. Kageyama had to admit, the noise was sort of frightening. Like a villian of a shonen anime. The show went by fast (you could say at the speed of light. ba dum tss), and they were out of the building before they knew it, heading to the park to watch the actual stars.

“ **_SPACE_ ** ” Kuroo yelled, once everyone was lying on the grass. Kenma rolled his eyes and rolled the bedhead haired teen away from him, muttering ‘dork’, as the Hinata siblings laughed. They pointed out the constellations (“Those stars form a dick!” “Kuroo, there is a  _ child _ .” “Oh, whoops.” “Stop hanging out with Bokuto.” “But he’s my best bro!”), Natsu jumping around when they saw a shooting star, Hinata and Kageyama helping Natsu braid flower crowns for the cat princess Kenma (“Ah! It broke again, Kageyama help me!”), and much unneeded PDA (“Kenma, get off of Kuroo, we’re in a public place and there is a  _ child _ , quoted Kenma Kozume.” “Ughh Shoyou stop being a mom.”). 

“Well our train leaves in an hour and we gotta get our bags and drop Natsu off at the apartments, then we’ll meet you guys back at the taxi in five, okay?” Kuroo and Kenma nodded, everyone dashing up to the third floor to grab everything.

“I’ll see you next weekend okay? Don’t forget to bug dad about the groceries, I forgot to grab them today.” Natsu nodded, hugging her older brother and giving him a kiss on the cheek, jumping onto Kageyama to do the same. 

“Bring Yama! I want him to come back!” Natsu put a small heart sticker on Kageyama’s nose, who blushed in the cuteness of the small child. 

“Maybe Natsu, but we gotta go now or we’ll miss the train.”

“I want you to stay!”

“But if we miss it then we miss volleyball practice and we can’t become the greatest volleyball duo cam we?” Kageyama realized Hinata was talking about both of them. Did he tell Natsu about their games, practices, and quicks as bedtime stories? He smiled at Natsu, who pouted.

“Fine, but you better come back next weekend!” Hinata ruffled her messy locks and stood. 

‘Call me when dad gets home, and if you need anything call Kuroo.” Natsu nodded, and she gave the two a final hug and kiss before they left.

“Oh, here, I finished the game so you can borrow it and take the empty slot and play it.” Kenma slipped a DS game into Shouyou’s pocket. 

“Thanks Kenken! I’ll see you next weekend hopefully.” The two shorties hugged, Hinata giving a kiss on the cheek to Kenma. Kageyama flushed and looked over to see if Kuroo was jealous, but he seemed to be looking at the two as if they were cute animals interacting innocently with each other. Kuroo got a hug from Hinata before the train doors beeped warning they would close soon.

“Come on dumbass, the train will leave without us!” Kageyama waved and grabbed Hinata’s hand and pulled him onto the train, the two eaved a final time before the doors closed and they went to sit. 

The train was fairly empty, and quiet. Hinata had taken his DS out from his bag and put the game in, Kageyama leaning back in his seat to sleep.

“Wake me up when we get close.” Hinata nodded and started up his game.

oOo

In the midst of romping around the trainer’s school looking for the people to battle (in his game of course), something heavy fell on his shoulder. Shouyou looked over, and Kageyama had fallen asleep on him! He flushed and stared at his game to distract himself from his red hot blush creeping up his neck. Trainer battles became long and tasking, so he closed the DS and put it in his bag lying under his feet, suddenly feeling out of place. Should he wake up Kageyama? No, the raven-haired teen would murder him for interrupting his sleep, so Hinata stretched his arm down under the seats and managed to grab the book out of Kageyama’s bag.

_ entry 31 – continued onto the last entry Hinata wrote, slipped back in his bag when done being written.  _

_ kageyama, _

_ thanks for the concern yamayama! but i know what you wanted to say, but don't worry. my dad and step-mom don't abuse me or natsu, so don't worry. i don't like my step-mom (it's kind of obvious) and i guess she moved in since the last time i visited? nobody told me. i usually don't see her when i visit so i wasn't worrying about her. my dad sort of acts up around her, like a little kid trying to impress their friend, maybe like tsukki and yams, except they're nicer. really though, thanks for the concern kageyama! _

_ also, thank you for today, i had lots of fun, you should definetly come with me again soon! I’m glad you’re my friend tobio.  _

And shit, Hinata had used a pen, no a  _ marker _ , with no eraser (obviously). He could scratch it out, or just leave it? Hinata stared at the word  _ tobio _ until the train announced it would arrive in five minutes, waking Kageyama up. Hinata shoved the book back into his bag, as Kageyama groggily stood and took his bag.  _ Too late to take it back I guess. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its so short end me


	15. entries 32 — 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first names

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO IM SOR SORRY ITS TO SHORT I STG ILL GET A NEW CHAPTER UP SOON IVE HAD THE WORST BLOCK EVER AND IM ON VACATION BUT I WILL UPDATE TO LOOK FORWARD TO IT

entry 32 — left inside of hinata’s shoe locker.  
shouyou ? hinata,  
so um you called me tobio, i mean don't get me wrong i'm fine with it but i was wondering if i could call you shouyou? i mean we have been friends a while, i dunno.

entry 33 — slipped inside yamayama’s jacket pocket.  
tobio,  
yes of course! sorry it just slipped out i really didn't mean to write it but i'm glad we are on a first name basis now, that means we are best friends!!!


	16. Phone Calls, Rain, and Feels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hA told u i'd get a longer one up!!!  
> it's super dialogue heavy so sorry

Hinata was sitting on his table, listening to music and eating a frozen meatbun he had heated up, when his home phone rang, jumping up to get it.  
“Hello?” Hinata set down his meatbun on the countertop and leaned on the counter, listening to the person on the other end.  
“Is Natsu at your house? She dissapeared after she came home from school.” Hinata frowned, it was his dad.  
“Uh, no. What happened?” He asked, standing up straight.  
“I told her to clean up and she got mad so I sent her to her room, but she’s gone now.”  
“Um I’ll call mom, Natsu might be at her work.”  
“Okay, thank you Shou.”  
“Mhm.” Hinata said hanging up. Where would Natsu have gone? He sighed and tossed his meat bun, his stomach sick with churning thoughts of kidnappings, when his phone rang. Hinata picked it up.  
“Hey dumbass do you have the math homework online logins–” Hinata’s heart clenched at hearing Tobio’s voice.  
“Tobio,” Hinata said, pacing, trying to calm his nerves.  
“Shouyou? You okay?” Although Hinata had only a little time to process this information about Natsu’s disappearance, he was already jumping to conclusions.  
“I’m gonna come over, okay?” Hinata kicked his shoes on and grabbed a sticky note, leaving a note on the door that he would be at Tobio’s house.   
“Yeah sure, what's wrong though?” Tobio’s voice hinted at worry.  
“I’ll tell you, I gotta call my mom real quick.”  
“Okay, if you’re walking over grab an umbrella, it looks like it might rain.”  
“Whatever Bakageyama.” Hinata hung up and called his mom while walking down the street.  
“Hey Shouyou, I’ll be home soon, what do you need sweetie?” Hinata paused waiting for a train to pass the road.  
“Dad called and said Natsu dissapeared, is she at your work?”  
“No, she’s not at home?”  
“No I don't know where she is and what if something bad happened to her and–” Hinata wiped his eyes, as his mom cut him off.  
“Shouyou, shh. I’ll call dad and the police, don't worry too much, she probably is at a friend's house and forgot to call again. Okay? I’m going to go and call now, I’ll be home soon, I love you.” The three pips signaling the end of the call left Hinata feeling empty, before his phone rang again.  
“Hello?”  
“Onii-Chan!”  
“Natsu?” Hinata stood even though the train had passed, a few droplets of rain coming from the sky.  
“Onii-Chan, where are you? I tried to get to your house, but I can't remember the way.”  
“Natsu, why are you trying to get home? You have to ask dad or tell someone, they can drive you.”  
“Dadda wouldn't drive me.”  
“How come?”  
“Come pick me up please!”  
“Uh, where are you then?”   
“I don't know.” Hinata sighed, relieved but still worried.  
“Go inside somewhere, its starting to rain, and stay there, I’ll find you.”  
“Okay, can you stay on the phone with me?”  
“Of course Natsu. I’m gonna call you back in a moment I have to let Yamayama know I can't go over.”  
“Don't leave!” Natsu sniffled.  
“One minute and then you can call me back.”  
“Promise?  
“Promise.”  
“Okay, bye.” The beeps signaled and Hinata called Tobio.  
“Tobio? I’m not coming over I gotta go find Natsu.”  
“Find her? What do you mean?”  
“My dad called me saying she dissapeared, but she called me saying she tried to get to my house.”  
“Boke Shou, she’s 7 and couldn't have gotten that far, are you saying you're gonna walk to Tokyo?”  
“Well I have to get her don't I?”  
“I’ll come with, come over and we can take some bikes to the train, and we’ll find her.”  
“Thanks Tobi, I’ll be there.” The rain came down as Hinata ran to Kageyama’s house, wishing he had listened to Kageyama’s advice and at least grabbed a raincoat.


	17. More Phone Calls, More Rain, and a Blue Overhang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lmao part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowa   
> don't worry the story isn't close to being over

The two ran through the rain, both soaked. Kageyama had opened the door with a raincoat in hand, but Hinata hand grabbed the other hand and pulled him to the bikes at the side of the house, Kageyama dropping the raincoats and barely having time to close the door.  
“Dumbass, you should've let me grab you a raincoat, you’re gonna get hypothermia.”  
“Whatever Tobi.” Hinata stuck his tongue out and held his phone to his ear.  
“Nastu do you know where you are?”  
“A ramen shop!” Hinata grimaced.  
“Which ramen shop?” There were lots scattered throughout Tokyo.  
“Dunno, I don't think it’s Japanese.” Natsu hummed a song.  
“Onii Chan, dadda’s phone is on red.” Oh, so that's why Hinata didn't notice the caller ID on the home phone, his father must've used a different phone.  
“Okay, stay where you are and we’ll find you, tell us any thing you see, like different stores.”  
“There's a–” Hinata’s phone beeped, the call ended.  
Hinata slumped on the bench they sat waiting for the approaching train.  
“I’ll be okay Shouyou.” Tobio awkwardly patted his wet orange hair, plastered on his face.  
“Hurry,” They hopped on the train, receiving dirty looks from nearby passengers (they were creating puddles of water everywhere).  
“So how some Natsu ran away?” Hinata shrugged.  
“She didn't tell me.” He sighed leaning on the pole as the bus jerked to a halt to let some passengers off.  
“Two hours on this train, and Natsu’s phone died, I hope she’s okay.” Hinata sighed and looked at his phone as well. It’s batteries were draining slowly from being in the cold, wet rain.  
“It’ll be okay, Natsu’s a smart kid.” Tobio held hour his hand. Hinata wondered what he was supposed to do with it. High five? Shake hands? Before Hinata could decide to do anything, the other reached out and grabbed his hand, Kageyama squeezing the redhead’s hand. Was it the cold that caused his cheeks to blush? Hinata shook his head of the thoughts, squeezing Tobio’s hand back.  
The two had found an empty seat and sat, Kageyama and Hinata sitting in silence, before the train announced they were at the stop. The two boys left up, Hinata being drowned in the crowd of people. Kageyama grabbed his hand and pulled him close as they wove through the sea of humans.  
“She’s in a ramen shop, or near one.” Hinata said, stomach churning with subtle anxiety.  
“Want to split up?” Hinata nodded, as they broke hands (sadly) and waved as they ran blocks in the city.  
oOo  
Kageyama rubbed his hands in his sweatshirt pocket. Jesus Christ I can't believe I grabbed his hand. He checked inside of a few shops, asking if they had seen a little girl with orange hair, all shaking their head. It wasn't until he was nearly ready to give up and go find Hinata when he found someone sitting underneath a blue overhang.  
“Yama-Chan!” Natsu lept up with a springing jump like her brother, flinging herself in his arms.  
“Natsu, we were worried sick, let's go find your brother.” She nodded. Kageyama noted several things, before adjusting her so she was on his hip, attempting to carry the seven year old, before putting her on his back, starting their trek through the late night crowds and rain, to find Shouyou.

 


	18. Hugs, Broken TV, and Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw for abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so many chapters up today!!!1!!1!1!1!1 i'm so happy that i can get all of this up

The three stood, hugging eachother. Hinata was muttering ‘thank you’s to Kageyama, while he hugged the two.   
“Where where you Natsu I was so scared something happened to you and–” Natsu frowned, poking his cheek.  
“Don't cry Onii-Chan,” She said, as they took cover under a bus stop.  
“I’m relived. Well we’ll take you back to Dad’s and then Tobi and I have to go back home okay?” Hinata ruffled her wet hair.  
“No, I don't wanna go back!” She yelled, bursting into tears. Kageyama frowned, as Hinata put an arm on her shoulder.  
“What happened Natsu?” She wiped her eyes.  
“Momma got mad because I was watching tv when she got home and it was really quiet but she pushed the tv backward and broke it and the noise scared me so I started to cry,” She wiped her eyes, calming from her short lived tantrum.  
“And she started yelling at me and Dadda just fell asleep on the couch, and Momma threw a shoe at the window next to me and I screamed and ran to go to my room and she hit me and it hurt a lot and–”  
“Step-Mom hit you?” Hinata said paleing.  
“Yeah, and–”  
“That bitch–”  
“Shouyou,”  
“Let me at her Kageyama,”  
“If you plan on killing her have fun in jail idiot.” Kageyama tugged on Hinata’s arm.  
“Let's focus on getting Natsu home.” Hinata still visibly seething with anger agitatedly sat down on the bench again, Kageyama leaning over the back of it.  
“Sorry Natsu. Whatever she happened?”  
“Momma hit me and then she slammed the door and so I snuck out and took Dadda’s phone and left the apartment but I didn't know where I was so I called you.” Hinata reached over and hugged her.  
“Oh, I should call mom, I forgot.”  
“Dumbass, you forgot? Your mom is probably worried sick about you!” Hinata grimaced. Knowing his phone was probably dead he grabbed Kageyama’s phone from his pocket.  
“Hi mom… Sorry, I left with T-Kageyama and we went to Tokyo. We found Natsu, we’re taking her home with us.” Kageyama waited till the call was over, Hinata cringing.  
“Yeah, I should have called her…” Kageyama shook his head in disbelief and laughed.  
“Let's go home then.”


	19. entry 34 & A Week Long Dissapearance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe i updated like four times today? 5? all the chapters are rlly short so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

entry 34 — handed to hinata before kageyama left to go back to his house that night.  
shou,  
yep best friends! i’m glad. i hope you can get custody of natsu and i can come over and help take care of her after school sometimes, we would practice volleyball and do homework. oh can you tell the team i won't be in practice next week? my mom scheduled a week long thing and i can't miss it (uGh) so i won't be in school either. i think i’ll be back at the end of the week. i guess i’ll get the notebook back next week.

Kageyama pulled on a sweatshirt and said into the car. It was tuesday morning–early. His mom wanted him to get there as soon as possible, which was opening time at six am. A three hour drive concluded waking up at 2am and leaving the house at 3.  
“Sorry Tobi, but you understand this is more important than volleyball right? I want you to get better.” Before Kageyama could say anything more, his mother cut in.  
“You have been doing better, Hinata is a nice kid, but don't think I haven't noticed. Please Tobio, let me be your mother and not a friend for once.” Kageyama looked down at his bitten nails.  
“Okay.”


	20. Pocky, Kindgergarden Crush, and Not A Boyfriend (yet)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 20 chapters!!! it's all fluff dw

Hinata sat glumly in a chair.  
“Hinata, what's wrong?” Yamaguchi poked his cheek with a green tea pocky stick. Hinata waved his hand indicating he didn't want the sweet.  
“Tobio said he wouldn't be back for a week at least.” The redhead stretched out on the desk melodramatically.  
“So are you two dating now or something?” Tsukishima said raising and eyebrow, Yams snickering.  
“Yeah, that means I’d get the money, Tsukki said you guys would get together in your second year.”  
“Shut up Yamaguchi.”  
“Sorry Tsukki!” Yamaguchi laughed.  
“You guys betted on us if we’d date? I’ll have you know I’m the straightest of the straight.” Tsukishima and Yamaguchi snorted.  
“Please, you two are so gay for eachother. What kind of friends goes on a first name basis?” Tsukishima rolled his eyes, stealing a pocky stick from out of Yamaguchi’s lips.  
“You guys are on a first name basis,” Hinata pointed out. The two would only call eachother Tadashi and Kei when they were in a more private environment, but Tsukishima liked Tsukki and Yamaguchi liked Yams and whenever they’d do their “shut up Yamaguchi” “sorry Tsukki” charade.  
“Well we’re dating, so…” Yamaguchi stuck is tongue out at Tsukishima stealing the pocky stick right back.  
“And you guys both totally have he hots for eachother. In a kindergarden way.”  
“Huh?”  
“Like you guys tease eachother relentlessly like kindergardeners. You guys even race and keep fucking tallys on who wins.” Tsukishima scoffed at Hinata, taking the Pocky stick back. Yamaguchi scowled at his boyfriend, stealing it back and shoving it in his mouth, Tsukishima quickly putting the other half of the stick in his mouth and biting it off.  
“Eww, save your pocky games for the bedroom.” Hinata said, Yamaguchi turning pink.  
“The pocky game is just kissing. You poor innocent bean. Let’s ruin him.” Tsukishima said, Yamaguchi laughing.  
“Let’s not ruin our sunshine son.”  
“When did we adopt him?”  
“I dunno, but he's our child now.”  
“I don't want him.” Hinata laughed.  
“What’s your boyfriend even off doing?”  
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Hinata insisted, “and I have no clue, he just said he’s be fine a week at least.” Yamaguchi patted his fluffy red hair as he sighed.  
“Don't worry Shou, you’lol have your boyfriend back soon.”  
“He’s not my boyfriend!!”


	21. Solely Platonic, Boy Talk, and Texts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> suga and hinata talk about boys   
> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhhhoHOhO

“Hinata, we get you can’t see Kageyama, but shut up.” Tsukishima grumbled, Yamaguchi snickering.  
“Ughh, but who will set our quicks then?” Hinata tugged on his shirt.  
“I’ll set, even though I can't do quicks, you can get some spikes in.” Suga ruffled Hinata’s hair as they went to the gym.  
The smell of sweat and sounds of balls smacking the floors and nets, tennis shoes scuffing around the court, the crickets outside that signaled practice was nearly over.  
“How’ve you been Hinata?”  
“Honestly, I don't know.”  
“What do you mean?” Suga had treated Hinata to a meat bun, both of them sitting on the curb outside of Ukai’s store.  
“Well we did that book thing like you said, and Tobio and I have gotten pretty close, and we’re on a. first name basis obviously.” Suga nodded in understanding.  
“Daichi and I are on first name basis, it’s oerfectly normal to have friends be like that. Is this about Tsukishima and Yamaguchi teasing you about Kageyama being your boyfriend?” Hinata shook his head.  
“Nah, they were just poking fun. I mean, I don’t think I’m gay.”  
“You don’t think?”  
“Sugaaaa!” Hinata pushed the older teen playfully, the silver haired boy responding with a light laugh.  
“Joking.”  
“Anyway, I mean Tobin hugged me a lot?? and held my hand. It made me all gwahhh inside, y’know?” Suga laughed into his hand.  
“Yeah, Hinata that sounds a lot like you have a crush on Kageyama.”  
“No way, not that dumbass. He’s mean to me all the time!” Hinata stuck his tongue out at Sugawara. But did he actually have a crush on Tobio? And of course friends hug and hold hands all the time, Daichi and Suga did that. It couldn't mean Tobio liked boys, and what about Hinata? Hinata does like girls, he had a small crush on Yachi but it faded away, and the blonde had the hots for the olde manager anyway.  
“Suga, can a guy like girls and guys?”  
“Yeah Hinata, that’d be bisexual, and pansexual would be attraction to all genders.”  
“There's more than two genders?” Suga nodded, crumpling the paper that held his meat bun.  
“Yeah, for example someone can be botha girl and boy, so Bigender, or they feel no gender, like Agender.” Hinata finished his meat bun.  
“So metaphorically… If I liked guys and girls, I’d be Bisexual?”  
“Yep.”  
“Cool.” Why was Hinata asking this? He did not have any crush on Kageyama. Everything between them was solely platonic. Yep. Platonic.  
“So Hinata are you Bi?”  
“Ehh?” Hinata jumped up.  
“Whaaat, nooo…” Suga stood as well.   
“I’ll tell you a secret.” Suga bent over to whisper in Hinata’s ear.  
“I’m in love with Daichi, so don’t worry about being in love with your best friend. It’s normal.” Hinata’s eyes widened.  
“No way! I thought you guys were dating already.” Suga sighed.  
“I wish, but Daichi can’t take a hint.” Hinata giggled.  
“I still don’t know if I like Kageyama. I’ve never really been, like, in love.” They began walking home.  
“Well don’t worry too much Hinata, you have plenty of time to figure out your feelings.” The two walked silently to Hinata’s house. Suga waved goodbye as Hinata stepped inside.

ACCT HOLDER: Shouyouuuu (me)   
Sent 18:53  
hey tobi! why won't u reply to my texts i'm so sad (Ｔ＿Ｔ) it's almost the end of the week so i hope you’ll be back soon!!


	22. Nightmares, A Mutual Acquaintance, and A Long Day Ahead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the much awaited kageyama chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for implied guns and hospitals

Upon arrival, Kageyama had to (embarassly) strip down before being cleared and handed with a hospital gown. He frowned. His items were already rifled through and checked, not even gaining permission to keep the photos he had packed. His mom had already left, so he was alone, feeling alone and bitter. Why had he agreed to this again? He was better. Kageyama remembered to focus on being well behaved, then he could leave sooner and see Hinata, play volleyball, and see his mom and pets.

The nurses led him to his room–solitary confinement–for now. Kageyama pulled the thin covers over his shoulders, feeling bare in the hospital gown, hopefully he could get his clothes back soon. Before dinner was called he was handed a schedule; he was placed in orange group, or group 10. It was as if he stars aligned to make this possible and make Kageyama ache for his friend. Along with the schedule card, there were a sweatshirt without a drawstring, with his black jeans, no belt. He quickly exchanged the hospital gown for his clothes, looking at the schedule, which was a lot like a high school schedule.

At 9 o’clock he was forced to attend breakfast and then free time for an hour afterwards, 11 o’clock was a community meeting, 12’o clock lunch, 1 o’clock was his own private checkups (Kageyama wrinkled his nose at that), freetime from 2-4, at 5 there was the second community meeting, and 6 o’clock was dinner, 7 o’clock free time, 8 was lights out.

Kageyama tossed his schedule to the side of the bed. He had two hours to sleep before it was breakfast. Pulling the covers over his shoulders and rolling over.

oOo

It wasn't like these nightmares popped up often, but when they did, they paralyzed Kageyama with fear, having him relive the same real life terror. It was always a quick dream, he always woke up like he was falling, cold sweat and the cliche writing nightmare troupes that made him laugh to lighten the mood, even if the lightheartedness lasted a minute.

The dream was always the same, Kageyama couldn't move to do anything to prevent the events; the only different thing was the sky. The first time he dreamed it was reliving the event, second time, blood red sky, third was black nothingness, fourth started to consume the scenery around them.

Them being Kageyama and his father.

Kageyama would awkaken to the sound of a shot ringing through his ears, his own shriek of his nine year old’s surprise, a heavy drop on the floorboards.

He woke up to someone shaking him, a nurse with long curly strawberry blonde hair and bangs.

“Are you okay?” She frowned but seemed relieved as she leaned back.

“Uh, yes. Thank you.” Kageyama felt awkward. Had he been screaming or crying? How embarrassing.

“You were screaming so they sent someone over to check up on things. Oh, I’m your nurse, Yukie Aoi.” The nurse seemed familiar.

“You’re Kageyama right? I have a daughter who is the manager of Fukurodani’s volleyball club, you’re on Karasuno’s volleyball club, correct?” Kageyama nodded. So Yukie’s mom worked at the same hospital he was at. Great.

“Yes, up what time is it?”

“Oh, it’s actually time for breakfast. The cafeteria is down the hall to the left. I’ll let you get collected for a few minutes, most kids are late to everything the first few days.” She smiled kindly and left, closing the door behind her. Kageyama wiped his eyes and face using his sleeves, trying to make his hair look decent without a mirror. For some reason his bangs wouldn't stay flat so he tried to slick them back; trying to resembale what Hinata had done to his hair when they had a sleepover.

Once looking decently presentable, he headed to the cafeteria. It was not as packed as a classroom, but equally as loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if you didn't understand kageyama is at a mental hospital for the time being, what your guy's suspicions of why he's there?? i'm honestly curious. 
> 
> also i have no personal experience in a mental hospital so if i get anything wrong or anything sounds offensive my deepest apologies and pls correct me!


	23. Group Therapy, An Unexpected Friend, and An Upcoming Appointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw for mentions of suicide anxiety depression and bipolar  
> iM

Kageyama sits down at a table; it’s not exactly crowded but it's the one with the least people at it. And he hasn't eaten since he woke up at two am, so he scarfs down the rubbery hospital pancakes, while looking around the room. No one seems familiar so the raven haired teen breathes a sigh of relief; or at least not yet.

After the breakfast he goes to the community meeting (he had slept an hour in between–dreamless sleep thankfully). Kageyama stretched out on the chairs in a circle, hoping he doesn't have to speak, because he’d much rather be with his volleyball team.

“Welcome everybody, we have a few new patients with us today and some will arrive during the day as well, so we will go around and do introductions.” Several people groan at the therapist who is witting straight with a black clipboard.

“I know, we do this pretty much daily, but we have to do it. Please go around saying your name, age, reason why you’re here, and something you enjoy to do.” Kageyama faintly listens with disinterest; several people are around his age, some are surprisingly young, most are diagnosed with depression of some kind, almost everyone says they enjoy arts or music of some kind. The spotlight falls on Kageyama, and he sighs, straightening up and drawing his legs stretched out infront of him to under his chair.

“Kageyama Tobio, 15, uh depression, anxiety and apparently suicidal.” The therapist raises his eyebrow at “apparently”. Kageyama never actually did never attempt suicide but when he was younger he’d always threaten to do it. Tobio shivers at the memories and pushes them away.

“I’m on my school volleyball team, as a starting setter.” The spotlight moves to someone else thankfully.

“Akaashi Keiji, I’m 17. I was diagnosed with social anxiety and I’m bipolar. I uh, also enjoy volleyball but I also like to play the cello.” Kageyama’s head snapped up from looking a his lap, to the doorway where the voice spoke. Akaashi just seemed to be coming in. This couldn't possibly Akaashi, the one from Fukurodani? The one Kageyama had taken a liking to? No fuckin way. The two locked eyes, Kageyama feeling like he wanted to shrink down into his sweatshirt.

The next hour was explains of rules; no touching other patients, you get points for eating food and participating in therapy, you get ten minutes call time (Kageyama wouldn't call Hinata, Hinata didn't need more stuff on his back with whatever was going on with his dad and step mom), more points you earn you can earn your belongings back (Kageyama felt relief pool in his chest; he could get his photos back), and even be allowed to check outside of the building if your doctor allows it.

And then there was lunch, Akaashi sat at the table Kageyama had been sitting at, eyeing the younger. Kageyama hesitantly sat infront of Akaashi, both of them picking through the salad awkwardly.

“Well.” Kageyama looked up at Akaashi who seemed to be flushed. Embarrassed probably, Kageyama’s own face was hot as well.

“Uh, hey.” Kageyama cringed at himself for the awkward attempt at conversation.

“This sucks, uh, I mean we can't play volleyball here can we.” Akaashi smiled weakly and Kageyama returned the smile. (“Gwaaa your smile is scary Yamayama!” Stupid Hinata in his brain.)

“Yeah. Uh, how long are you going to be here?” Kageyama asked.

“At least two weeks.” Akaashi sighed and pushed his tray away, slumping onto the table.

“That sucks, I’ll hopefully be gone by the end of the week.”

“So like… What’d you do to get admitted?” Akaashi looked up, his dark eyes analyzing Kageyama, reminding him of Kenma’s golden eyes.

“My mom thought it’d be good for me, although I’ve been much better, I think.” Kageyama remembered the weekend Shouyou and him had spent together, smiling briefly at the memories.

“Oh, you’re lucky. I got into a fight at school.” Akaashi in a fight?

“I got suspended from class and the volleyball team for two weeks, and the kid went to the hospital. He deserved it.” Akaashi didn't seem too concerned, talking sort of monotone.

“I can’t wait for call time though, I can call Bo. Are you gonna call Hinata? You guys are dating right?” Kageyama flushed red.

“Uh, nope. We’re not dating. Uh Sh-Hinata has lots on his back right now so the last thing he should be worrying about is me.” Kageyama leaned his cheek on his right palm, Akaashi sitting up and pulling back his tray to finish the salad.

“Oh.” A few moments later, the elder teen spoke up again.

“What's going on with Hinata?”

“Uh it’s not really my place to tell…” Kageyama looked away. Akaashi smiled slightly and waved his hand.

“Ah, don't worry I shouldn't have asked anyway.” Kageyama shook his head.

“It’s fine.” And just like that, lunch was over and Kageyama bid farewell to his mutual friend, himself off to see his doctor.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> imsorry kags i'm sorry akaaashiii y do i do this to my babs iM


	24. A Call, An Appointment, and A New Roomate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw for suicide attempt anorexia medicine etc basically every chap from here on out will have trigger warnings!! stay safe and don't read if you aren't comfortable with it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yO im sORRY

Hinata was sitting on the couch braiding Natsu’s hair (or attempting to at least), when he got a call from his phone.

“Hello?”

“Tobio-Chaaan! Yay! Where have you been? I texted you everyday, I miss you so much how come you haven't answered my texts? Are you–”

“Oh, yeah sure, I’ll meet you there.”

“Oh your mom is gonna be there? Okay, cool.” Natsu tugged on her braids earning a playful tap on her head by Hinata.

“Oh, today? Yeah, I’ll bring Natsu.”

“She’s fine, my mom’s filing a lawsuit against dad.”

“No, I really don’t care, I hope Natsu gets to live with us.”

“Oh, okay, bye Tobio-Chaaan see you today!”

“Onii, where are we going?” Natsu pulled on her braids again, loose curls popping out.

“Oh we’re meeting Yamayama up at the train station later today. I’ll get you ice cream on the way back home okay?” Natsu cheered happily, Hinata grinning. It had been a lonely week without Kageyama, but his friend was coming back finally!

oOo

  
Kageyama sat and kicked his legs while he waited. After what seemed like forever (he got nervous wondering if the doctor would ever come), the door opened up and a doctor smiled gently at him.

“Kageyama?” The teen nodded at his name.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Doctor Akihito. The nurses probably already took your blood pressure and weight and such I presume?” Kageyama nodded again as the doctor began to talk again.

“Okay good. Are you on any medications?”

“Uh, just one.”

“Okay, I see it’s listed.” The Akihito looked down at the computer before turning back to Kageyama.

“So let's get started with twenty questions.”

oOo

  
The doctor had asked many questions, which he had all answered before when he’d go to different doctors and therapists, so he had most of them memorized (it was his life anyway). They changed his meds to three instead of one (fun), and he managed to not get any shots. Akaashi and Kageyama were inseparable duringthe rest of the day probably due to heir anxiety so they watched the movies together when there was free time and sat together during dinner.

Kageyama couldn't get Hinata out of his mind. He’d want to call Hinata, but would he see the unfamiliar caller ID? Kageyama hadn't gotten his phone back so he couldn't explain that he couldn't text because he was at a hospital, arising more questions out of the redhead. Hopefully Ukai and Takeda had said he’d be away for a week when they told the team. Worries aside, his current state was annoyment, just as he settled into his room, Nurse Yukie knocked and said there’s be another kid coming to room with him in a little while. It was bad enough he’d had to do the stupid group therapy, but he’s be rooming with someone unfamiliar? Kageyama grumbled some words into a pillow, rolling over under his covers.

Moments before he drifted to sleep, the door banged open, loud drastic sobs coming from the doorway. Kageyama presumed this was his roommate. The person flipped on the bed opposite, still crying. The last time Kageyama had been in a mental hospital, he had cried the first two nights for his mom (he was 11, give him a break people), and was told it wasn't uncommon for people to cry days on end when they arrived. Kageyama sat up groggily and turned his head to the crying mess of a roommate. And of course, it was someone he knew.

“Oikawa?” And right infront of him, was his old senpai, sprawled drastically over the side of the bed like a disney princess in distress.

“T-Tobio-Chan?” Oikawa hiccuped, lifting his head.

“This is just great,” He muttered in between sniffles. At least the boy had stopped his sons. Kageyama swing his legs over the side of his bed.

“Why are you here?” Kageyama asked curiously. Oikawa was once of the most grounded person he knew (besides his daydreams of aliens and he time he almost slapped Kageyama but the first year had long since forgiven Oikawa for that).

“I should ask you the same thing Tobio-Chan.” Kageyama slid off his bed, grabbing Oikawa’s hands and dragging him to sit ontop of his made bed.

“I’ll tell you why if you tell me first.”

“What if you won't tell me?”

“I’m not a dirty liar.”

“Fine,” Oikawa wiped his eyes with his palms.

“Uh, so I was atone house, uh, Iwa-Chan and me and I fainted so he took me to the hospital,” Oikawa fidgeted, peeling the skin around his fingers before Kageyama grabbed his hands to stop him. “And Iwaizumi learned that I was anorexic, uh he was pretty mad I didn't tell him, Shittykawa, he said,” The brown haired beauty made a noise in between a cry and laugh. “and then I tried to jump out of the hospital window, and then Iwaizumi caught me before I did it and they called my parents, and they said they’d be coming home soon, and they told hem to keep me here until they came home, but they’re a-all the way in america and w-won't be back for a f-few days.” Oikawa started wailing at the end of his story, Kageyama squeezing his hands lightly. He looked up to his senpai when he was younger, and they were still friends (Who would forget the Seijoh group chat they added him in for god knows what), despite their scary rivalry.

“Shh, it's not that bad Oikawa, your parents will come home soon. I’m sure Iwaizumi isn't mad at you, he’s concerned but the only way he can express it is through his angry face of his,” Oikawa snorted, “and I mean you’re safe for now okay? So don't worry.” Kageyama took Oukawa’s hands and folded them together and put them on his lap.

“W-whatever King, trying to be sappy are we?” Kageyama and Oikawa both laughed.

“Hey, you cheated me, why’re you here?” Oikawa stuck his tongue out and pulled on his left eyelid.

“Oh, right–” Nurse Yukie opened the door scowling slightly, as if Oikawa and Tobio had tracked mud through her house but didn't mind since they were just little kids.

“You two, it’s past curfew. Continue your conversation tomorrow or I’ll see you both loose points.” Both bowed slightly and apologies, scrambling under their covers.

“Night Tobio-Chan.”

“Goodnight Tooru.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also it's canon that iwa and this alien loving dork live together with you parents look it up mATE   
> also if you're confused, Hinata and tobio'a POVS are different times during the week soOOoooO


	25. Gross Breakfast, Peaches, and Hinata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw for anorexia and the usual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so soRRY

The next morning the two boys were woken by a knock on the door.

“Breakfasts in fifteen, the bathrooms are open and down the hall.” The nurse outside the door’s shoes patted down the hallway, Kageyama groggily swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

“Oikawa, get up.” He muttered, finding his clothes (he wore them yesterday, Tobio began to wonder if they’d give his other clothes back today) on a chair. The brunette grumbled from his pillow before rolling off the bed and onto the floor.

“Christ, don’t do that.” Kageyama muttered, pulling the clothes onto his arm to bring to the bathroom. Oikawa sat up and used he bed to stand.

“S’only way I can wake up properly.” Oikawa followed Tobio to the bathrooms, off to get ready for the day.

Ten minutes later they went down to the dining hall, Kageyama sitting with Akaashi.

“No way, seriously, what are the odds.” Oikawa said sitting down, Akaashi muttering a polite hello.

“Yeah, it’s pretty weird.” Kageyama agreed, poking at the rubbery eggs before eating them. Akaashi ate Cheerios (Kageyama wished he had got that instead, with strawberry milk!), Oikawa had grabbed oatmeal that had started to congeal. The brown eyed beauty wrinkled his nose at the food. Kageyama noting this, switched his oatmeal for Kageyama’s bagel.

“Eat this, it's better than oatmeal.” Oikawa looked up at him before guiltily looking away.

“I can't eat it.” Oikawa refused, pushing the plate away like a two year old refusing broccoli. Akaashi pushed his small bowl of canned peaches to Oikawa.

“You have to eat something,” Akaashi said quietly, handing Oikawa a fork. Oikawa attempted to push the bowl away as well, but both Kageyama and Akaashi pushed it back.

“It’s too sugary,” Oikawa protested, feeling sick at the thought of eating the syrupy peaches. “I’m sorry, I can't.” Oikawa looked downcast, Kageyama frowning. He was never usually upset, even if he was he didn't show it.

“Tooru, if you want to see your parents and Iwaizumi, you have to eat. The people here give you points for eating as such, and if you don't you’ll be staying longer.” Kageyama took the fork and stabbed a peach, handing the utensil back to Oikawa. He looked conflictedly at he peach.

“Please eat it, Oikawa.” Akaashi took a fork and took a peach as well.

“We’ll eat it together, okay? It’s only a slice.” Kageyama took a peach as well, Oikawa stuffing he peach in his mouth quickly and swallowing, grabbing Kageyama’s milk box and downing it with the peach. The other two teens ate their slices as well.

“God Oikawa you have to chew,” Akaashi said, handing him as glass of water as he coughed. Oikawa took it gladly and drank all of it, sputtering a few more coughs after.

“You’re going to choke yourself.” Kageyama frowned. Oikawa looked away.

“Sorry,” He mumbled.

“Eat more,” Akaashi encouraged, pushing the bowl to Oikawa from across the table.

“I can’t,” The guilty face on Tooru’s face made Kageyama’s heart sink.

“It’s okay, how about at lunch you eat a little more?” Kageyama said, pulling the bowl away.

“Uh, I guess.” Oikawa slumped down into the table. The overall mood of the three plummeted again, Kageyama relapsing back into the train of thoughts revolving around Hinata. How much longer could this stay possibly seem?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bdbdbdbdb i just want shouyou and tobio to be back to eachother D=


	26. Iwa-Chan?, The Meat Potion, and The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hinata sees iwa at the courthouse while waiting for him mom to grab the lawsuit papers or smthing 
> 
> akaashi is stronger than u think and oikawa will never get the answers he wants (nor will u ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for anorexia drunk people fights bruises uh the useual  
> probably child abuse because natsu but i don't think it's really mentioned but i can't remember  
> (wow me)
> 
> also
> 
> THA K YOU SO MUCH 2 4 0 0 VIEWS AND SO MANY KUDOS AND BOOKMARKS ILY ALL IM SO HAPPY PEOPLE ENJOY WHAT I WRITE eventho it hella angsty AND I LOVE U ALL SO MUCH!!  
> yo if you draw fanart or have seen/posted a fic rec seND ME THE LINK OK ID LOVE U FOREVER IF U DID ONE OF THOSE  
> yo i still don't have a tumblr so LIKE JUST COMMENT THE LINK IF IT LETS U THANK FOR EVERYTHJNG MY BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE BYE

**Earlier in the week, shortly after Kageyama’s random disappearance.**

Hinata sat nervously in the car, turning his waist to look into the back to Natsu, who was happily playing a game on their mother’s phone.

“Sit back down,” Hinata’s mom tapped Shouyou’s shoulder, as he retracted and faced the front.

“Don’t be too nervous. We won't even see him, I’ll just be getting the lawsuit papers from the court, and then next weekend we’ll have the custody battle over.” She fluffed his hair in reassurance. He grunted in response, looking ahead on the road.

Shouyou was sitting out in the lobby on a mahogany bench, Natsu still playing on her mother's phone, before she was called into the office with her. Hinata was alone, watching the people file through the revolving door. Nearly dead with boredom, he then noticed someone pushing through a regular door on the side. Iwaizumi? Hinata quieted his head to the side. Why would Iwaizumi be in a court of all places? Hinata knew he shouldn't go up and bother him, at last not until he got finished what needed to be done. Hinata watched a few people walk up to Iwaizumi and they all tatted chatting. Now Hinata shouldn't have been watching (or eavesdropping) but he could help that he had to “go get water” at the fountain nearby.

“It’s nice to see you again.” Iwaizumi said, after the two people have enveloped the teen into a hug.

“You too Iwa, we’re going to quickly fill out some forms and then we’ll go to the hospital to pick Tooru up, okay?” The woman smiled softly and put her hand on Iwaizumi’s back, leading him. Was this his mother? But they were filling forms out for Oikawa? So was it actually Oikawa’s mom? Hinata shook his head and reluctantly went to sit back down once they left through the pairs of doors his mom left through. Not too long after lounging on the benches, his mom and Natsu came out.

“Alright, ready to go now. Let's stop for dinner and get ice cream?” Natsu cheered and Hinata laughed and nodded.

Hinata licked his ice cream in the car, while Natsu had finished and fallen asleep in the back, left to dwell on his thoughts. Today was Friday, so tomorrow night? evening? Kageyama would come back home. He smiled to himself, he missed his friend a lot. Was Kageyama like this when Hinata had been gone in the hospital for stitches that one time? Well maybe not, Hinata thought. They weren't really that good of friends earlier in the year. He then frowned, shaking the negativity. All that mattered was that they were friends now, and Kageyama would be coming back from his disappearance during the weekend.

**Back to the fifth day of the hospital, one day before Kageyama leaves.**

“Oi, you never told us why you’re here.” Oikawa said, picking at a piece of lettuce from his sandwich. Akaashi nodded, leaning forward interestedly.

“Ah, only if Akaashi tells us whi he fought.” Oikawa gasped.

“Akaashi you fought someone?” The gorgeous second year laughed.

“Yeah, I won.” His laugher died down and he looked guilty, but more disinterested.

“I sent them to a hospital, so it's not like I’m proud or anything.” Kageyama nodded.

“Uh, what did they do?” Kageyama shot a glare at Oikawa after asking Akaashi the question, the brown eyed boy signing and started to nibble on his sandwich, slowly but surely.

“Uh so they totally deserved it.” Akaashi swirled the meat in his water (long story short– they tried to get Oikawa to eat some ham and it got flung into Akaashi's water–the teenage boys began adding salt and ketchup joking around with the gross make up potion before getting scolded by a staff nearby–they're teenage boys, what did you expect?), before continuing. “So Bokuto and I were going home after practice right, and some drunken guy was stumbling around the neighborhood, and Bokuto went up to ask the guy if he needed help getting home, but I guess he was an angry drunk so he pushed Bokuto on the street and tried to throw the bottle at him, uh, and I sort of snapped and grabbed the bottle and hit the guy’s arm with it and we were sort of fighting and then I hit the bottle on his head and he like dropped unconscious? So uh Bokuto called the ambulance, and then my dad found out… So yeeaahhh.” Akaashi had begun stacking the empty bowls on the tray to put away.

“Wow, did you get hurt?” Oikawa asked. Akaashi pulled up his sleeve to reveal some bruises from the fight.

“He was more scuffed up than me. I mean, he _is_ in the hospital, so what do you expect?” The three began to toss their lunch and off their separate ways, Kageyama frowning at Oikawa’s barely touched sandwich.

“Okay, we'll see you guys later.” The three waved, before Oikawa leaned back and grabbed Tobio’s forearm.

“Shit, you never told me why you're here. If I’m late to the therapist, he's gonna kill me, so you’re gonna tell us tonight okay?” Oikawa released the younger’s arm after receiving a sharp look from a nurse passing by.

“Bye Tobio-Chaaan!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahhahahhahahahhahahahah.. u all will never learn kageyama's origins
> 
> jk it'll probably be in the next chapter or the one after that


	27. Angst, Angst, and Angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit goes down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for self harm burns anxiety depression mental breakdowns anxiety attacks
> 
> i'm so sorry
> 
> there's a lot of tears bEWARE

Tobio gets to their room earlier than Oikawa, immediately stripping down to change into his pjs (which he had gotten back, along with rights to check out other things but he was leaving tomorrow so he didn't find a need to take them. he did take the photos of his family, team, and Hinata though), finding the advantage to throw the covers over himself and pretend to be sleeping. And so taking advantage of his earliness, that's what he did. Kageyama didn't know why he was closing up to Akaashi and Tooru, they told him what happened to them, why shouldn't he? _Maybe it’s because I close up at people_ , Tobio thought bitterly, _Shouyou also deserves to know, I just sort of left him hanging for a week. Unless he doesn't care?_ Kageyama heard footsteps down the hall and he pulled the pillow over his head. _Dumbass, being on a first name basis doesn't mean anything. He let Kenma call him Shouyou the first time they met. Plus you’re rude to him all the time, why does he consider you his best friend? He wouldn't if he knew where you were. You can’t tell him, he had enough on his back, close him out, shut everyone out, you are nothi–_

“Tobio,” Oikawa pulled the pillow off of his head. Kageyama shut his eyes. _Shut them out._

“I know you’re awake.” His roommates voice wasn't accusatory, but rather quiet and kind. Kageyama opened his eyes, blurry with tears. Were they there before? He reached up and wiped them away. Oikawa laughed slightly.

“You can’t trick me into thinking you’re sleeping.”

“Are you okay? You were like-sort-of-kinda hyperventilating,” Oikawa stood up and sat on the end of Tobio’s bed, the mattress bending under the two teen’s weight.

“Mhm.” Kageyama sat up, sitting against the wall on his bed, Oikawa scooting over to the wall to sit next to him.

“Are you sure?” Oikawa lifted raven colored bangs before receiving a scowl from its owner.

“It doesn't really matter.” Kageyama played with a loose thread on the hoodie he had on. Oikawa frowned leaning over.

“It matters, you big dummy. You helped me feel better the first night I came here, so I’ll repay the favor.” Oikawa leaned back against the wall, waiting for Kageyama’s reply.

“You don’t have to pay me back anything, I don’t know why you even talk to me, we’re freaking rivals and I’ve envied you and hated you from my first year of middle school, why are you even trying to be friends with me?” Kageyama choked out, before Oikawa laughed.

“Ugh, you idiot, now I’m crying too.” They both wiped their cheeks. “I almost hit you in my third year, I was always jealous of your natural talent, you don’t have a broken useless knee, you don't have to work extra hours after volleyball to be decent, you’re perfect weight, you beat us even though our team practiced all year long. I probably hate you more.” Kageyama laughed through both of their tears.

“We’re fucking ridiculous.”

“That's okay, I mean you gotta have someone you can talk to huh?” Oikawa pulled his knees to his chest.

“So, I don’t want to pressure you, I realize it was sort of rude to pressure you to tell me why you’re here, but if you want can you tell me?” The brown haired teen folded his arms setting them atop his knees, laying his left cheek on his arm to look at Kageyama.

“I guess, you deserve to know.” He shrugged, also pulling his knees to his chest.

“Uh so when I was younger I saw some bad stuff and it messed me up. I decided to shut people out, and I always come out as rude to people, became “the king”. I started thinking ‘why do people hate me so much?’ and it became a habit to think why, and then I just get anxiety attacks, I broke down in a grocery store once and my mom decided that I needed help, so she took me here.” Tobio gestured emptily to the walls of their room.

“I was nine when I first came, and then I had to miss three weeks in my second year of middle school.” Tobio anxiously glanced over to Oikawa. “It’s ridiculous for sending me here for just anxiety, but I was also depressed so I’d just never want to get out of bed, not even for volleyball for a long time.”

“And in my third year I’d done some bad stuff, uh so my mom sent me for a month again, over the summer. I mean I’ve been better lately, but my mom still takes me to therapy from time to time and she just noticed as much as I’ve been recovering it just, won’t go away.” Kageyama rubbed his warm cheeks, sighing. Oikawa moved.

“Let me see your arms, you’ve been wearing hoodies and long sleeves every time you’ve been here.” Deciding it’s be better than fighting, he held out his arms as Oikawa pushed the sleeves up. Circles of waxy and blotchy skin dotted his arms, with the occasional faint lines in between.

“Tobio, what did you do?” Oikawa said looking up, the other teen looking away in guilt.

“I burned myself with a lighter. You can guess what the lines are.” Oikawa leaned over and pulled up his other sleeve, more burns and cut scars up his arm.

“Tobio why?” Oikawa’s voice cracked on the last word, before flinging himself over his Kouhai, blubbering at him.

“Don’t ever hurt yourself again! I’ll never forgive you Tobio,” Oikawa sniffled, after calming down. They sort of held eachother for a long time.

“I won't, just promise me you’ll start eating again okay?” Kageyama pulled down his sleeves and pulled back from their hug.

“Yes, I’ll do it, just don’t. hurt. yourself. ever. again.” Oikawa wiped his eyes, Kageyama looking down at his lap guiltily.

“How do you hide them during volleyball?”

“Makeup works well.”

“Does your mom know?”

“Uh yeah, that's why she sent me here, but I told her I haven't hurt myself in a month, so she told me I’d get a week here and then I could get out, but she said she’ll be checking me everyday.” Oikawa hugged Tobio’s pillow.

“Good, don’t ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ev–” Nurse Yukie peeked in.

“You guys are always staying up past curfew! Kageyama you are lucky that you're leaving tomorrow or we’d have you stay a week longer. Please get some sleep.” She scolded, but smiled before she left the room.

“–ever so it again or I will personally come you your house and, and... steal your milk.” After finding the suitable punishment, Oikawa dropped the pillow and went to his bed, Kageyama pulling his covers over his shoulders and lying down.

“Okay Tooru.”

“Goodnight Tobio, when we both get out of here, call me any time, even in the middle of practice goddammit. I can’t have you as a rival if you don't take care of yourself enough to play volleyball.” Tobio snorted, but smiled to himself.

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cried myself as i wrote this rip me !!!1!1!1!!1!1!
> 
> tobio and tooru are great friends thEYRE BROTHERS OKAY SHUSH IWAOI AND KAGEHINA but it's a nice ship but i don't ship it because iWAOI AND KAGEHINA but that's ok ! bye until next time i write a chapter lolhope
> 
> edit- kudos to abusemesoftly for catching an error in this chapter!! thank you!!
> 
> i'm a trainwreck


	28. Not My Boyfriend, A Call, and Leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WhO  
> tw for the usual  
> anorexia  
> child abuse/neglect  
> i think thats all thats mentioned!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STUFF IS GETTING FLUFFIER  
> lol i actually like Akaashi Oikawa Kageyama friend thing !!!

Kageyama was being pushed by Akaashi and Tooru, to the phone that was open during lunch. 

 

“Stoooop, Shouyou doesn't need to meet me at the train station!” The two teens ignored the younger’s protests, quickly dragging him to the phone before being scolded by a nearby supervisor for touching.

 

“He’s probably wondering where you went.”

 

“Maybe you should kiss him when you see him,” Oikawa suggested mischievously, Akaashi nodding and agreeing. 

 

“Uhh, no, I’m not gay. If I was, I wouldn’t be gay for Hinata.”  _ Right? Riiiiight? _

 

“Pfft, as if. You have his number memorized  _ and  _ you’re on a first name basis. Even Iwa-Chan and I aren’t that gay. Although that man does not take hints.” Akaashi patted Oikawa’s shoulder in console, as the overly dramatic one (hint: Oikawa) cried fake tears. Kageyama rolled his eyes and dialed the number, knowing the two wouldn't let him leave the area until he called his friend.

 

“Hello?” 

 

“Uhm hey, It’s Tobio.”

 

“Tobio-Chaaan! Yay! Where have you been? I texted you everyday, I miss you so much how come you haven't answered my texts? Are you–”

 

“Don’t worry dumbass, I wasn’t ignoring you. I was on uh on a trip, I don’t have access to my phone, so I used a payphone.” Akaashi glared The Disappointed Mom™ look at Tobio for lying. “Do you want to meet me at the train station? I’ll arrive at six.”

 

“Oh, yeah sure, I’ll meet you there.” Kageyama sighed in relief.

 

“My mom is gonna be there, but I was thinking we could go eat something and we could drop you off.” 

 

“Oh your mom is gonna be there? Okay, cool.”

 

“Right, I’m leaving today.” Oikawa tried to lean in to listen, before Akaashi quickly pulled him away scowling at the older. (“Don’t eavesdrop.” Oikawa pouted for being scolded by a second year.)

 

“Oh, today? Yeah, I’ll bring Natsu.”

 

“How’s she doing? No serious injuries or anything?”

 

“She’s fine, my mom’s filing a lawsuit against dad.”

 

“Doesn’t that mean you won’t see your dad again? Do you care? I mean I know he’s been awful to you but he’s still your dad I guess.” 

 

“No, I really don’t care, I hope Natsu gets to live with us.”

“Okay, I hope so too, good luck. Frick, I gotta go.”

 

“Oh, okay, bye Tobio-Chaaan see you today!” Kageyama put the phone back on the wall, as Akaashi poked his shoulder. 

“We gotta go, I’ll see you guys at free time?” He asked, both of them nodding. Off they went again, their separate ways.

oOo

Kageyama waited at the main counter, for the nurse too look up. 

 

“What do you need?” The nurse glanced up before looking back down at the computer in front of her crooked nose. 

“I have a few things I want to check back into my bag so it’s not a hassle when I leave.” The nurse sighed and looked up at Kageyama. He put the photos down, along with some pjs and slippers. The nurse left the desk to put them back in his bin with his bag. 

 

“Alright, go to your freetime, your release will be at two thirty.” 

 

Kageyama jogged over to the lounge thing, where there was couches, a tv, and a chest of board games. Akaashi and Oikawa were sitting on the couch chatting.

“Hey, I have thirty minutes before they check me out.” He plopped down next to them. 

 

“Ughh, lucky, I won’t be out for at least two weeks.” Oikawa groaned and laid himself over Akaashi and Tobio’s lap, before a nurse came over and scolded the third year beauty. 

 

“Make that three.” The three teens chatted and Akaashi exchanged numbers with the other two. They played a quick tournament of mancala, before Tobio was informed that it was 2:25. 

 

“Ah, I should get going soon.” He said, being tackled by the older with hugs, despite the annoyed scolds from the nearby nurse watching over the game room. 

 

“Our Tobio-Chan is leaving us!” Oikawa wiped a tear away.

 

“It’s for the best Tooru.” Akaashi sadly patted the other’s shoulder as they backed away.

 

“We should hang out or something when you both get out.” Tobio suggested, having actually enjoyed talking to the two of them (of course, he had talked to the two before, but never both at once. It was one of those things where when you have both people it was a better time [no offense to either of them]. They both nodded.

 

“We’ll call you when we get call privileges.” 

 

“Good. Akaashi, make sure Oikawa eats something every meal.” Akaashi nodded, Oikawa and his old kouhai locking eyes.

 

“Keep your side of the promise Tobio.” He nodded, leaving a confused Akaashi.

“Akaashi, let’s get coffee or something and I’ll tell you then? I don’t like keeping you in the dark so Oikawa can tell you, but I’m not in the mood for a tearful farewell.” Akaashi smiled and nodded, the two giving separate hugs. 

 

“Okay, enough, you guys are breaking all of the rules.” A nurse nearby sighed, as he tore Akaashi away from the raven haired teen. 

“Bye!” The two cried out as Tobio waved and exited the room, ready to leave. After being checked out, he headed to the train for the three hour ride back to Miyagi.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo my friend is betaing for me so i won't have as many mistakes as before!!! yayyyy


	29. fluff but not really

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i suck   
> how to write fluff ??  
> sorru

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this is a shitty chapter because i am a shitty person who can't write for shit

It was nearly six, the warm spring air surrounded Hinata as he waited by the train station. There was a few people walking around waiting for the six o’clock train to arrive. Hinata had make some small talk with Kageyama’s mom when she came, but now they were sitting in a silence. Hinata looked down at his lap, flushed. He coudln’t wait to see Kageyama again, maybe he would kiss him– wait no, they were friends. That’d be awkward. They’d hug? They did hug a few times, but would it be too awkward? Shouyou was definitely overthinking this. Was he over dressed as well? Natsu poked her older brother, shaking him out of this thoughts. The train had arrived.

Kageyama had a small duffel bag at his side, looking around. Hinata jumped up and without warning ran over to the taller boy, tackling him with a hug. Kageyama’s mother laughed and took the bag that was discarded on the floor as the two stumbled around holding eachother in eachother arms.

“Yay Tobio-Chan’s baaack!” Hinata pulled back, grinning, the other flushed pink but smiling slightly as well.

“Yeah, thanks for coming to meet me dumbass.” Natsu pulled at Kageyama’s sleeve and opened her arms, hugging him once he turned to her.

“Yamayama’s back!” The pulled back and looked serious for a moment.

“Onii-Chan was constantly whining about you.” The older redhead turned pink, the younger laughing as the group began to walk with Kageyama’s mom to her car. Kageyama hugged his mom and whispered something before she nodded and smiled.

“How about we go get some food?” Kageyama’s mom smiled, as they all got in the car.

“Oh, sure, I could ask my mom if she’d like to meet us at the resteraunt, where are we gonna eat?”  
oOo  
“I’m so full I could explode.” Hinata groaned and slid down in his seat before straightening up again (after receiving a sharp look from his mom).

“Maybe you shouldn't have eaten all that food, dumbass.” Kageyama was still shoveling ice cream into his mouth.

“How are you able to keep eating?”

“It’s good food.” Hinata laughed. After everyone ate, Hinata’s mother took Natsu to the car (she had fallen asleep in her mac n cheese), while Kageyama’s mom went to go get the car from the back of the parking lot. The two teens sat outside the resteraunt on a bench, in comfortable silence.

“So, where’d you go for the week?” Hinata leaned back on the bench, looking over, the stormy navy eyes of his friend staring back. He leaned back and looked up at the stars, which were surprisingly visible as the clouds from earlier didn't seem eager to leave, yet they did.

“Ah, I guess I should–” Beep beep! Hinata’s mom winked through the car window. Hinata groaned.

“Here, you can tell me later, I’m glad you're back.” Hinata refrained from a hug (it would be weird wouldn't it?? they weren't dating or anything), and instead handed the confession book to Kageyama. “I’ll see you on monday, yeah?” And before Kageyama could reply the energetic redhead bounded off to his car, whisked away. Saved by the bell, Kageyama thought. He’d have to tell Hinata (and probably the team as well) eventually.

Soon at home, he sat in his bed pulling on the strings of his hoodie. It was weird to have them back inside his hoodie, so he pulled them out and shoved them under his bed. He eyed the confession book at his bedside table, but decided he’d read it tomorrow. He needed rest, and then he could read whatever hundreds of questions Hinata had probably written down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i have a bunch o stuff to say
> 
> 1- yay i'm almost at 3000 views i'm so honored!!! thank u for all the comments, kudos, bookmarks, etc!! ily all
> 
> 2- yes i'm aware this was a shit filled chapter!! i am sorry!! i've been on a terrible writers block but i will keep updating and i will try my best to write good stuff!!
> 
> 3- ok so i vaguely have the whole story plotted out ( key word: vaguely ) and i think this story will go to the end of their second year! and then i'll make another story and have it be 3rd year through part of college!! yay two fics wow
> 
> 4-i've been feeling shit so i might not update my quality content or not update for a while SO IM SORRY BUT I WILL TRY VERY HARD TO UPDATE THANK U BABES
> 
> (*´◒`*)


	30. entries 35 — 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone being cOMPLETE DUMBASSES why  
> tw: anxiety  
> dumbasses who can't talk shit out  
> lying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so (x100000 so) sorry

entry 35 — written over and erased and written again and again over the week, handed to kageyama the night they saw each other again, before they parted ways.

tobio,  
where were you this week? (there are faint erasing marks of i was worried and i missed you and no lying bakageyama)

entry 36 — hesitantly left inside hinata’s volleyball bag before they parted ways as they walked homeafter practice on monday.

shouyou,  
uh I guess i should tell you  
i guess i have to?? okay then?  
uh i was at a hospital for the week

entry 37 — handed to kageyama during morning volleyball practice on tuesday.

tobio  
the hell?? i was so worried about you and you were in a hospital??y didn't you tell me? why were you there?? can u still play vball?? you ABSOLUTE DUMBASS IM IR FRIEND TALK TO ME

entry 38 — cowardly left inside of hinata’s shoe locker, before kageyama rushed off to class.

shouyou,  
sorry (there are traces of more words but they’ve been erased cleanly.)

entry 39 — left in kageyama’s bag after practice.

tobio,  
ur dumb pls talk to me we’re best friends yeah? why were you there are you okay i'm seriously getting worried tobi you were worrying me all week for disappearing without answering my calls and not even telling me where you were going? why did u need to go to a hospital overnight, for a week? i did my best to convince myself that you were at a camp or family vacation but then your mom didn't even go with you?? i'm scared tobio why were you there??

entry 40 — handed to hinata before class

shou,  
please stop ignoring me we aren't supposed to let this dumb book come between us. i can't tell you i'm sorry i can't it's not my own feelings at stake it's other people's privacy  
shouyou i'll tell you if they say it's okay because i can't tell you everything without telling about the people there  
i can't spill their info because their feelings are valid too  
and i'm not saying yours aren't but trust me please  
and stop ignoring me

entry 41 — left in kageyama’s shoe locker. bio candies in a bag were taken out of sheer spite by the redhead.

tobio,  
there are other people besides me allowed to know what happened  
huh  
when you get back to me with that answer of yours i'll talk to you again

entry 42 — put inside hinata’s shoe locker because he refuses to take it back from kageyama.

shouyou,  
please now you're just being petty and angry at me  
i want to tell you but there's people i can't give away their personal issues okay  
the only reason we know what happened is because shit went down and we were all trapped in the same hell hole for a week and both of them are still here okay  
please at least spike my tosses in really sorry shou

entry 43 — it was left inside kageyama’s bag, no new entry written by the redhead.

shouyou,  
i have feelings too okay?? i’d be mad if you went off and vanished and then came back and refused to tell me where you’ve been besides the fact that you were in a hospital and i get it but worse stuff than jealousy and aggression is going on okay  
i'm sorry  
at least don't let it interfere with volleyball  
suga and daichi will get mad at us okay

entry 44 — shoved inside of kageyama’s bag.

kageyama,  
everything is about volleyball with you, i can't even hold a genuine conversation without you talking about volleyball. this is more than whatever happened kageyama, you don't trust me as a friend as a teammate as a person, but you can trust some people you met at the hospital cafeteria. great. i have the right to be petty and angry and shit like you said, you’d be mad. don’t call me shouyou and don't talk to me until you're ready to actually talk.

entry 45 — it was never handed back to hinata after it was written.

hinata,  
i'm sorry i trust you  
~~i cant~~  
~~my anxiety i don't know how to talk to you besides about volleyball~~  
i’m sorry hinata can we just get over all this and make uup? lots of stuff happened in the hospital and i can't tell you about it yet but i promise i will eventually  
i'm sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm contemplating deleting most of my side fics until i finished writing them and then i'll repost them again??? i'm not satisfied with them so idk
> 
> also if u haven't noticed this is like the only fic in spending time on which is good because i'm usually procrastinating this fic!! so all my other fics are on a hiatus basically bc i'll be focusing on this fic!!! sorry (*⁰▿⁰*)  
> i love u all thank u for your support <3


	31. angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoops my hand slipped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am terribly sorry buT ITS OK

Kageyama usually never dreading getting up for morning volleyball practice, had to manage staging his mopey ass across the hall to get showered, he was waiting for his phone to ring. As far as he could tell, not Oikawa or Akaashi had gained phone access yet, and Kageyama couldn't really ring up the main office and ask for them. He headed to volleyball practice, his bag feeling heavier with the thought of the book, inside it their arguments.  
oOo  
Okay, yes Hinata was being unreasonable. He didn't have to ignore Kageyama, or insist on practicing receiving all week, or steal his candy, or get mad at him. And yes anything written inside the book wasn't supposed to effect their daily lives, and anger was clouding the redhead’s judgement. Now only if that stubborn blue eyed boy would tell him the truth…  
oOo  
Kageyama quickly changed, eyeing the duo of the blond and freckles in the corner, whispering about something. Tsukishima strode over to Kageyama, Yamaguchi scowling behind him, pulling at his friend’s hand, who shook him off.

“I see the king isn't getting along well with his boyfriend.” Match, strike, and a flicker of anxiety arose in him.

“He’s not my boyfriend. Quit sticking your nose in places it shouldn't be.” Kageyama pulled on his shirt, wanting to quickly make an exit.

“Tsukki, you really shouldn't egg him on,” Yamaguchi frown disapprovingly at his friend. “sorry Kageyama.” The darker skinned boy dragged his tall friend away, chiding him. Kageyama was now alone in the room, his heart pounding in his ears. His stomach lurched and he kneeled, trying to keep his breathing even. I didn't eat breakfast, I didn't have time, that must be it, I’m hungry. He dragged his bag over and dumped it out, looking for something to eat. Great, freaking great, nothing. He pressed his hands to his mouth, hunched over, trying to calm himself.

A door opened and he swore internally, he didn't want anyone to see him like this.

“Kageyama?”  
oOo  
Hinata had a pretty crap morning, beating himself up over fighting with Kageyama. Idiot, if you had any sense of feelings for other people you’d stop this right now and make up with your best friend. If he was in the hospital, he's probably having a harder time than I am. He said bye to his mom and Natsu, riding his bike down. He was a little late, which was fine by him.

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were stretching, Suga talking with Shimizu. Daichi was probably out getting the balls from the storage closet. He raised a hand in hello to his teammates as he went to go change. He opened the door and put his bag done, before he noticed someone in the room.

Kageyama was kneeling over, hands covering his mouth and shaking slightly. Oh my god what's wrong with him he got out of the hospital what if something's seriously wrong oh god–

“To- Kageyama?” Hinata said before kneeling next to his friend.

“Are you okay? What’s wron–”  
oOo  
Kageyama was aware of Hinata next to him, asking him questions.

“I’m fine dumbass, go get warmed up I’ll be right there.” Kageyama tried to will his shaky voice away, face heating up in slight embarrassment of Hinata catching him having an anxiety attack.

“No, you’re clearly not okay, do you need a doctor or something? Maybe you should have stayed more than a week, Tobio you gotta tell me what’s wr–” The shorter fretted, grabbing Kageyama’s arms.

“Jesus fine, I’m not okay, I’m having an anxiety attack, It’s been happening all week, hell a few years!” The older ripped his arms out of Hinata’s small hands. “And no I don’t need a doctor, I was at a freaking mental hospital, because there's something wrong with me that nobody can fix okay?”   
oOo  
Hinata was taken aback. He certainly hadn't been expecting this.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry Tobio,” the raven haired teen had his face in his hands.

“Did I do this? I didn’t mean to yell at you, I was taking my anger and issues out on you oh god I’m so sorry,” Hinata rambled, both of them a sobbing mess.

The door swung open.  
“You guys need to go stre–” Suga looked down at both of them. “Whoa are you guys okay?” Hinata giggled.

“Uh yeah, could you give us a few minutes?” Suga smiled and nodded, closing the door as he retreated from the room.

The two laughed a little, Kageyama wiping away the tears before Hinata sort of just engulfed him in a hug, both of them sort of just rocking on the floor sniffling.

“You're such a dummy, you could have told me.” Hinata said softly.

“Yeah, but there are some other people I should ask if it’s okay to tell you, I want to respect that but I do really want to share with you and,” Hinata cut him off.

“No don’t worry about it, tell me when you're ready, I’m sorry, I was pressuring you and wasn't taking your feelings into account.” Kageyama smiled and they both laughed at the ridiculous mess they probably looked like.

“Ah, guess we should go actually play volleyball soon.” Hinata stood. “Are you okay or do you need to stay here some more?” Kageyama shook his head, standing as well, waiting for his friend to finish changing.

“Alright, let's go spike some tosses.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahaha  
> actually though i was writing this then realized like this is almost exactly what happened to me once r i p  
> but at least they made up am i right eh 
> 
> also i uploaded his before science started so spacing is weird idk


	32. My Questionable Writing Skills, A Call, and Fries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what ??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls send help  
> how to write ??  
> i forgot lol

During lunch, the two sat with the other first years on the team. Kageyama was listening to Hinata and Tsukishima bicker, Yamaguchi halfheartedly attempting to break their squabble up. Kageyama watched them in amusement as Tsukishima tugged on a stray spring of orange hair, Hinata hissing while trying to scratch the taller. Three heads whipped over to Kageyama.

“Eh, oh that’s my phone, I’ll be right back I guess,” Kageyama said, taking his leave outside before looking at the caller ID. Unknown. He smiled, hoping for the best, and fortunately fate smiled upon him (for once amirite).

“Hello?” A familiar voice called from the other side, before muffled shouts, along the lines of “hey this is my call!” and “you don’t even have your privileges, go sit back down!” arose from the speaker.

“Akaashi?”

“Yeah, hey Kageyama!” Oikawa cheered from the phone, before the line went dead. Kageyama laughed quietly and waited for them to call back.

“Tooru, stay– back, ah sorry!” The phone dropped and was picked up on the other end. 

“Sorry, I’m back,” Akaashi said. “How are you? You back at school again?” Kags hummed in response.

“Yeah, I’m doing okay, I can’t wait for you guys to get out and then we can talk.” Akaashi cursed to Oikawa who seemed to be competing for the phone still.

“Yeah, me too,” The second year said after a moment of grappling from the phone. “I think Tooru’s parents are coming to talk to him later this week, but he says he’s not leaving quite yet. I think I’ll be out by next week at least.” 

“Oh, okay cool.” The bell sounded, Kagama muttering a swear word.

“Ugh, lunch is over, I gotta go soon. Oh, uh, by the way can I tell Shouyou about you guys? He wants to know where I went but if i tell him everything I’d have to tell them about you. Oh and ask Tooru too.”

“Okay, one second.” Akaashi disappeared before Oikawa grabbed the phone.

“Tobio-Chan!! ‘Kaashi says you can tell your boyfriend.” A groan from the receiving end. “Oh, I’ve eaten something every meal! Stick you your side kouhai!” the line dropped dead and Kageyama smiled to himself before going to grab his lunch.

“Aww Bakayama you missed your fire war!” Hinata said. French fries littered the floor as the three were cleaning them up. Tsukishima had it smushed in his hair and smudges on his glasses, Hinata had fries falling down his shirt. Yamaguchi looked upset but unharmed by the fried potato sticks. Kageyama shook his head.

“Have fun cleaning up dumbass.” He stuck his tongue out as his friend, before attempting to make a run for it, Hinata pulling the teen back. Tobio fell backwards into the pile of fries they were stacking to push into the dustpan. 

“Ahh, I have fries all over my jacket now!” Kageyama punches Shouyou’s shoulder who laughed. Tsukishima put a few fries on Kageyama’s chest.

“Get off the pile, idiot.” Kageyama launched a fry at the salty blonde (like the fries), while getting up.

The freckled one looked at his fries sadly. “You all owe me fries.”


	33. Awkward, Wingman Yachi, and entries 46 — 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they're crying again
> 
> yachi is good fren
> 
> they write in the book again
> 
> a w k w a r d

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hOLY SHIT SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR LIKE A WHOLE MONTH IM S0 
> 
> yes i have finals and my softball season is picking up and my mental health is dropping so i had no time or energy or inspiration to write this fic anymore but i don't want to let anyone down so i started slowly writing it and i'm aware the past few chapters are sHIT but they'll be better soon!! I'm actually glad i started to write it again because i love this fic and writing it and my clueless pining children 
> 
> s0 sorry 
> 
> there will be more frequent updates now!!!

Kageyama had his hands in his pocket. Of course it was going to be awkward, and hard to explain everything. You can’t really just vanish for a week and come back saying you were in a mental hospital and expect your best friend to not question anything, so that’s why Tobio was waiting for more oncoming questions.

 

“Hey Tobio?” Hinata spoke up, Kageyama looking over and giving a hum to acknowledge the redhead. 

 

“I’m really sorry for pushing you and getting mad at you okay? You can tell me whenever or never, I just want you to know you don’t have to keep secrets with me, but I understand if you want to keep it to yourself.” Well then. Kageyama was not expecting that. He looked over to his partner.

 

“I was a real fucking dick to you and I wasn’t thinking straight or about your feelings even, because I was being selfish, so please forgive me!” Hinata turned to face his friend, looking like he was about to cry.

 

“Ah, Shou?” Kageyama awkwardly opened his arms for a hug. He wasn’t expecting any of this, much less a small redhead crying.

 

“Fuuckkk, I feel like a terrible friend.” Tobio patted his friend’s fluffy hair. He laughed a little.

 

“Me too, I should have told you where I went beforehand, and maybe we could have discussed this without so much drama.” They both laughed, and Hinata wiped his eyes, both of them finished blubbering together (for the second time that day, goodness guys).

 

“Let’s go get meat buns and we can talk, yeah?” They continued walking down the sidewalk.

 

“Auugh, actually I have to get home as soon as possible and look after Natsu, my mom is still filling out papers, so she stays behind in her office for a few hours more.” Hinata sighed glumly. 

 

“Then go home and take care of your sister and we can call or something, your family comes before friends right dumbass?” Tobio rolled his eyes. 

 

oOo

 

“Hey Yachi?” Hinata was lying on his stomach, his arms over the edge of the bed braiding his friend’s hair.

 

“Hmm?” She turned to look at his but he gently pushed her head forward and reminded her not to move (she was almost as bad as Natsu).

 

“Ahhh, nevermind.” She grinned, squirming to turn around.

 

“Tell me tell me tell me please please please?” She said, Shouyou knowing she had a mischievous grin.

 

“Do you like someone?”   
  


“Oh my god Yachi, I’m not an elementary school girl.”

 

“But I am,” She muttered.

 

“You’re in highschool??” The redhead rolled onto his back, as the blonde reached to feel the short braid.

 

“Augh, fine, I’ll tell you.” Yachi grinned triumphantly.

 

“Ok so Kageyama and I had a fight,” 

 

“... Hinata it was pretty obvious you were avoiding him all week, and only wanted to spike Suga’s tosses.” Embarrassed, the redhead dragged his hands down his face.

 

“I knowwww,” Hinata dragged out the work. “but we made up the other day, and now it’s really awkward between us still.”

 

“Shit move-” Hinata chucked a large lion stuffed animal at his friend, Yachi laughed and threw it back. 

 

“But actually, what should I do?”

 

“Uh, you guys could go on a d-”

 

“It’s not like that!” Hinata smothered his red face in the lion stuffed animal embarrassedly. 

 

“Surreeee,” Yachi laughed and jumped on the bed to sit with Shouyou. “Well then go hang out, go hiking, or to see a movie or something.” 

 

“Oh! Great idea!”

 

“I can’t believe you needed me to say ‘just hang out’ because any person who’s smart enough would know logically, to ease awkwardness you just got to get used to each other again?” Yachi snorted.

  
“Are you calling me an idiot?”   
  


“Nope, but apparently you are.” Hinata stuck his tongue out at the blonde, who laughed.

 

oOo

 

entry 46 — handed back to hinata on monday.

 

shouyou,

uH are we still doing this?

 

entry 47 — handed back to tobio during math class

 

tobio,

i don’t see why not, i mean it was fun to write to each other and get to know eachother right? 

 

entry 48 — left inside hinata’s bag before evening practice started

 

shouyou,

yes it was

 

entry 49 — handed back to tobio before they parted ways to go home

 

tobio,

aH do you wanna go hiking/camping with me on saturday? its gonna be warm this weekend so we can go and find the waterfall and go swimming! also i think the lunar eclipse is soon or something so it’ll be really fun! the town nearby also holds a festival for it (its pretty much a food festival) ;O it’ll just be us by the way because my mom and natsu are doing something i cant remmeber what

 

entry 50 — left in hinata’s shoe locker the next day

 

shou,

yeah sure it sounds fun! text me the details so i can ask

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also i have a tumblr now!! it won't let me put the link but my url is jaixny !  
> my fandom blog (basically just reblog of fan art) is lance-plays-tenor !  
> if you wanna send me head canons or ideas or whatever for haikyuu or ask me questions about my fics send them to my main blog!!  
> also i love taking to people sO talk to me  
> i'm needy and thrive off attention lmao


	34. IMPORTANT

long time no see because i’m a fuckin bitchjhffghv   
anyway things r getting better and i’ve gotten back into haikyuu and i want to finish this fic bc i feel bad sjshshdh   
anyway  
if you’ve noticed i’ve gone and deleted some (a lot) of chapters as i don’t want the story to go the way it was going to go, so yeaaa svdhhsv im rewriting part of it so i suggest u read like at the minimum the last chapter!! thank you all for being so ??? patient and goddamn i am sorry ejehdvdv anyway the story will continue!!! <3


	35. Camping, Lunar Eclipse, and a Red Panda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluffy :) warnfdsbhhsdfjauwb i just wanna say things get yikes in future chapters lmao

It was too early for Shouyou, but he was still excited nonetheless. Tobio had gotten used to waking up early and it hadn’t fazed him to wake up to his preset alarm at four a.m. in the morning. 

The plan was for the duo to drive together up to the mountains which was a four hour drive, not including traffic and breakfast, so they would arrive around 9 at the stop point, to rest in the town that Hinata’s grandmother lived in. They would use her cabin that was usually rented, shop and eat lunch, before grabbing their things and hiking to the next town over, setting up their camp in the campsite ten minutes walk to the town where the Lunar Eclipse Festival was being held. They’d spend the night under the stars and eat breakfast over a fire, and then hike back to Hinata’s grandmother’s cabin and pack up and eat lunch, Hinata’s mother would come pick them up and take them home. Well, that was the plan at least.

 

The two were shaken awake by Hinata’s mother, who had finally arrived at the cabin. They said their goodbyes to her and quickly put their stuff in the house before they went to eat. Afterwards, they shopped, trying on silly hats and masks in the pawn shop, and getting kicked out of the toyshop for breaking one (“good job, dumbass”, was Kageyama’s response.). The evening seemed to fly by quickly. At the campsite, the tent was already set up, and they were walking down to the festival.

 

“Hey Shou, did you bring the binoculars?” Hinata laughed and paused in his tracks.

 

“Uhh, we were supposed to bring them?” Kageyama grabbed Hinata’s hair.

 

“Yes?? How else will we see the lunar eclipse?”   
  


“With our eyes?”

 

“Dumbass.” Kageyama responded rolling his eyes.

 

“I’ll go grab them, it’s only a five minute walk back to the site, wait here and i’ll come back and we can walk the rest of the way to the festival.” Hinata turned back, the taller watching the redhead disappear down the trail.

 

oOo

 

The streets were mildly crowded, although it wasn’t too late, so it would probably become more packed as the night went on. They milled around together, oohing at the souvenirs and food stands they passed. Hinata had seemed to return to normal, shouting ‘gwahh!’ when they saw the chicks up for adoption at the petting zoo, but Kageyama still watched him fondly, something stirring in his stomach. 

He smiled as Hinata dragged him around, spending all his money on masks, food, lanterns, and a bottle knock down game.

 

“Please Tobio?” Hinata said sadly.

 

“No, you spent all your money? I’m keeping mine for food on the way back home.” 

 

“Awe, I really wanted that red panda stuffed animal…” Hinata glanced longingly at the enormous stuffy.

 

“We can't fit that with our camping supplies in the car, dumbass.” Kageyama shook his head, laughing a little at the shorter.

 

“It’s not that big!”

 

“It’s bigger than you.”

 

“Jerk!”

 

“Dumbass!” Kageyama laughed. “Let’s go watch the lunar eclipse,” He suggested, as the two had only roamed the fair for the night.

 

oOo

 

Both teens had set up a blanket on a hill, above a family whose kids were running with sparklers.  
  
“Those were a good idea,” Hinata mentioned, gesturing at the sparklers below. Kageyama nodded and lied back on the soft grass, looking at the moon and waiting for the eclipse.  
  
"Okay. When's the lunar eclipse start?" He asked, turning to look up at the moon. Hinata thought his impatience was cute. 

  
"I think like, uuh 10 or something maybe, so probably a few more minutes." Hinata stretched out his legs. "I really want that panda..." In response, the shorter's partner laughed, half in sincere joy and half groaning of exasperation.    
  
"Well, we have like 15 more minutes, maybe we can win it."   
  
"Bakageyama, seriously?? I have no money left, remember?" Kageyama stood and offered his hands to pull him up. "Sure, but you owe me."   
  
"Sure, anything."   
  
oOo   
  
"I can't believe we spent all your money."   
  
"But we got it right?" The two were lying on the stuffed animal red panda, which for the record, was huge. Like those 93 inch Costco teddy bears, but bigger.    
  
"..."   
  
"How will we fit this in the car?"    
  
"Oh right. That's why I didn't want to get it." Kageyama and Hinata looked up at the huge animal.    
  
"Uhh, maybe we can... Tie it to the top of the car?"    
  
"We'd need ropes."   
  
"I'll ask my mom to bring some!" Hinata said, fumbling around for his phone to tell her to bring them tomorrow when she came to pick up the boys.   
  
"It's dead."   
  
"Here use mine." Kageyama unlocked the phone and handed it. Hinata opened the texts.   
  
Yachi:   
u gotta do something tobi thi...   
  
Since when did Kageyama text Yachi? He didn't open the messages since it wouldn't be polite to snoop, but he'd have to... question Yachi sometime. He quickly messaged his mom and handed the phone back.   
  
"Tobi! Look it's starting!" Hinata pulled the binoculars around his neck to view the eclipse.   
  
"Let me see dumbass!" Kageyama attempted to crawl over and grab the binoculars from Hinata, but tripped on the redpanda's leg, falling on Hinata.    
  
"Ow boke!" A weak push was attempted to get Kageyama off the small boy.    
  
"Are you... Trying to seduce me?" Hinata giggled, Kageyama scowling in return.   
  
"No! Give me the binoculars!" The two wrestled for it, laughing loudly. The setter's hand slipped off Hinata's arm, and pressed hard against his throat. A scream rose from the smaller, kicking Kageyama and pushing him off harshly.    
  
"Ow- Are you okay?" Hinata was rubbing his neck, 

 

"Uh, yeah. All good!" He coughed a bit, before giving a reassuring grin. 

“Are you sure?”

"Tobio, it's okay, I'm fine now." He smiled a little. "Let's just watch the eclipse yeah?" The two sat back against the red panda, looking at the moon. It was red now, casting a dark light on them.    
  
"Wow, it's like, really scary looking." Hinata said.   
  
"Like, evil aliens from the moon are tractor beaming earth."    
  
"You sound like Oikawa." Kageyama snickered. "Although he knows there aren't aliens on the moon. He says they live in planets, not moons."   
  
"Do you talk to him a lot?" A pause.   
  
"Yeah, we're actually good friends."   
  
"Oh, nice."   
  
"Mhm."   
  
The two sat in comfortable silence, unconsciously holding hands. They stood in their thoughts, watching the lunar eclipse vanish after an hour. It was a good evening.

 

oOo

 

The two tiredly hiked back to their campsite. Hinata changed into shorts and a tee shirt and plugged his phone into a portable charger, waiting for it to turn on. Meanwhile, Kageyama got into long pants and a tee shirt, quickly texting someone before popping his nightly pills in his mouth.    
  
"I'm gonna sleep, i'm super tired. Night Shouyou." Kageyama got in his sleeping bag and quickly fell asleep. Hinata muttered a goodnight to him, staying up on his phone, texting his mother to assure they were safe and having fun. 

 

Hinata turns over to put his phone away, while something catches his eye. Bruises? No, weirdly looking waxed skin? And lines on the inside of Tobio’s arms...    
  
They were scars.    
  
oOo   
  
Hinata lied back down. He knew partly the reason that Kageyama had gone to the hospital now, it was easy for anyone to figure out. Self harm, anxiety, probably depression. His stomach churned. Why would he do this to himself? What would make someone hurt themselves? Hinata sighed. He'd ask Tobio later. Hinata gave away to the sound of the cool rustling leaves outside, sleep taking him captive.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i change my tumblr a lot it's @wlwglo jfkdskjhdf

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr is @cherryneon!
> 
> \- con (he/they)


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